Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Sans Inhibitions


It's safe to say that we've all had those aha moments that forces us to take a good look at how we're living and to shift our own rigid perspectives. In those moments, we reveal what/who matters, what/who doesn't, and where we stand in different arenas of our lives.  We can either lay and accept it all or get up and change it. I've had this revelation recently and I must stay that it was quite the eye-opener. It's really causing me to look in the mirror and blame her for everything.

This weekend, I experienced a cluster of these moments that normally happen sporadically and far in between, where the light bulb comes on immediately and all the blemishes and imperfections peek from their hiding places.  The beauty of it is being honest enough to see it all, because denial is a disease that causes people to assume everything is perfectly perfect and [continue to] hide all the turmoil happening right under their noses.  

In a previous post, I openly discussed my fear about moving to California.  It dawned on me early Sunday morning about how badly I've wanted to go for so long, how much I'm connected and drawn to that place, so why hesitate now if I was born with the ability to create opportunities and make it happen?

I'm a firm believer that we all create our own circumstances.  This could easily be a debate of destiny, fate, and free will, however it's what I feel to be true for everyone.  In this sense, apart of me feels like I have chosen to be stuck where I am.  Not that my life is a complete nightmare, but I know things could be a lot better in terms of what I'm accomplishing.  

The ultimate challenge is to decide if I want to stay here or be courageous enough to motion out of stagnancy, to go somewhere.  I've just noticed some cycles, habits, and thoughts that are keeping me in place and only I can determine where I'm headed from here.  It's probably even necessary to do some soul searching, so that I may have a sense of direction.  I'm inspired to isolate myself and find a spot where it's just me and God, conversing easily about life and how to properly position myself for my greatness...because quite frankly, there is nothing worse than being blessed, yet too unprepared to receive anything.

Therefore, what I really need to focus on at this point is releasing all fear and start living the life I've always imagined;  moving forward, stopping for nothing, and never looking back.

-Chymere A.

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4 comments

  1. I'm starting to wonder if you are in my brain! LOL. Circumstances are different but the feelings are so so similar. It's all part of the journey and you know, we just have to do the work. I'm excited for you because it sounds like you're on the verge of something. :)

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  2. This post almost made me cry (I teared up), beautifully written! Absolutely beautiful.

    "I'm inspired to isolate myself and find a spot where it's just me and God, conversing easily about the life and how to properly position myself for my greatness...because quite frankly, there is nothing worse than being blessed, yet too unprepared to receive anything."

    That got me.

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  3. Thanks for being so transparent. You write so beautifully! I was drawing a picture in my mind as I read. I add my faith with yours that you are always at the right place and at the right time for the favor of God. I love that you stepped out on your dreams and you did it despite feelings of fear. You rock!

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  4. Yessss!!!! Fear can be so paralyzing when you allow it to be and can stop you from living the best life possible. I feel like I'm saying this to you alot but I am very proud of you and wish you much success with your dreams and plans. I loved the part where you say, "there is nothing worse than being blessed, yet too unprepared to receive anything".

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