Monday, January 28, 2013

Why Don't We Fall In Love?

"I want someone I can fall in love with everyday forever and never get bored. God knows my heart."

Yesterday, I traveled deep into my heart and explored a part of me that longs to fall in love...and not just for the sake of falling.  A few times, I've shared with my readers some of views on this particular subject matter. I talked to my mom a little about some of the thoughts I was keeping, unaware that I was even keeping them, and she just allowed me to ramble away about what kind of love life I imagine sharing with another person.  Right before bed, I opened a journal that is about 3 years old in attempt to remember what it felt like.  To be completely honest, I didn't feel anything or relive any moments; it just felt like I was reading a story of someone else's life. Although there was a lack of emotion for moments I was so passionate about once upon a time, reading my heart splattered all over those off-white colored pages made me want to experience love...again.

Careful not to script the entire conversation between me and mother darling, I told her something that I never really thought of until that moment. In the past, if something didn't feel right almost immediately, I was reluctant to give it (whatever 'it' was) a chance.  Most of the time, friends would encourage me to ignore my gut and act against myself, only for me to realize that I was right all along. It's always this voice that whispers to stay away if someone isn't right for me and I admit that I haven't always paid attention to it. Mom calls it the spirit of discernment that allows me to be a pretty exceptional judge of character. It's because of the truth about people that is revealed to me that made me say out loud that I want to know if someone is 'the one' within the first 15 minutes of knowing them.

Certainly, we've all heard the cliche statement, sometimes you just know. As annoying as cliches tend to be, I just so happen to believe in that one with all my heart.  I do think love takes time to grow, as it takes time to build any relationship and I believe in proper order (friendship, courtship, love, etc.), however I don't feel like it takes that much time to recognize love, or at least the seed of it, when it appears/happens.  Perhaps it's whimsical thought, but if I were to ask 95% of the men and women in my life who have been happily married for many years, they all will say that they knew immediately they were supposed to marry that person.  I know this, because I've asked before out of curiosity. Surprisingly to some, that response is mostly from the men. Some call it love at first sight, I just call it gravity; a natural phenomenon that occurs when your soul is a magnet to the soul of your star crossed lover.

Only God knows if I'm ready, but my heart is open.  Over the past few months I think I've tried to force it in a familiar setting, which usually gets me no where, so now, I'm just being patient and trusting what God is doing in my personal life.  In the time being, I'm on a mission to becoming a better woman, build my career, and let my perfect love happen the way it's supposed to happen, with who it's supposed to happen with.

@ChymereA
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8 comments

  1. It's nice to hear that your heart is open! I have always been a skeptical person, so I never thought I would just know when I met the man of my dreams. And I didn't! We dated in 2007, broke up, and got back together in 2010. That is when I knew!

    Good luck and I hope you meet some amazing people in the process!

    xo

    Ashley

    Southern (California) Belle

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  2. I can relate to always trying to give something a goal even if it does not feel right.

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    1. Acting against self...I've done it many times.

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  3. Wow. I feel you. I'm so in love with the thought of love that sometimes I fall deeper into situations than I probably should. Well at least that was the story of my past. We just have to be patient.

    I'm not sure the type of relationship you and your mother have but I applaud you for opening up to her about this particular topic.

    Miss Daja

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    1. Yes patience is most certainly key.
      Me and my mom are extremely close. Love convos with her.

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  4. Amen. I have been feeling almost exactly the same way. It was like reading my inner thoughts / feelings verbalized. So perfectly written. Wow. Good stuff.

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    1. Glad I'm not alone on this! Thank you for your kind words!

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