Friday, February 1, 2013

On Finding My Word.

There was a time back in high school where I didn't care about popularity. I was into photography, was on the swim team, wore crazy outfits, and was insanely dedicated to the school’s newspaper and yearbook.  In addition to that, I didn't have many friends; I wasn’t invited to “exclusive” parties, and spent a lot of free time at school conversing with my favorite teacher. To this day, people think I’m weird. Although being weird is so in style now, it wasn't until recently that things remotely close to nerdy were even considered ‘cool. As much as it could have been torture to be picked on in high school, I didn't let it bother me. I was perfectly okay with who I was, what I did, and who I hung out with, because at the end of the day, I stayed out of trouble, made decent grades, and I liked my life the way it was. The older I got, the more I cared about what everyone else thought and in the process, have let a colossal piece of me fall off, which is authenticity.

As someone who thrives in environments of creativity, I can’t keep pretending to be someone else.  It seems like everyone is on a rat race for something-whether it be the money and the fame or more Twitter followers-but I don’t have to have every tangible thing nor do I need a fan base of millions in order to have an amazing life. I thought that way once upon a time, so in a sense I’m reverting back to who I really am, and because of that, how I define “building an empire” is changing.  Leading up into 2013, I spent a lot of time re-discovering myself. Honestly, living simply with the ability to travel and do what I love as a career is all I’ve ever wanted out of life and what I want is way more appealing now than it has ever been.  It’s not that I’m any less ambitious; it’s merely a matter of not losing sight of my own happiness.

I’m actually very simple person. Really, the complexities can only be found in my (physical) journal writings.    There is just so much to name that I’ve always been ashamed of, but I am finally at peace with all that I am and all that I’m becoming. 

All the things that make me unique also make me beautiful, despite what the world may or may not see.  Hiding who I am at the core just so that my surface can be accepted is just ridiculous. Now that I realize how awesome I am in my own skin, I wonder why it took me so long to embrace that.  And the people who really love me don't mind one bit.

Ever since reading the book, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (circa 2010), I've been on a relentless mission to find my word. While many come to mind, I think I've finally found made a breakthrough and found a perfect fit.  I am...

cre·a·tiv·i·ty  

/ˌkrēāˈtivitē/
1  : the quality of being creative
: the ability to create




Better late than never, right?

-Chymere A.




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4 comments

  1. theres a vulnerability in this post that I appreciate and adore

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  2. Love this post! And perfect word for you. That is my favorite book and one of my favorite movies, one weekend I watched it 5 times just because. I still haven't found my word yet.

    www.notacookie.com

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