Thursday, May 23, 2013

Simple Freedom Friday: Sweet Grace

Humans, at least in theory, all go through phases, some that can't be explained except without first-hand experience. It's a part of development.  I think survival is merely getting through them, going through with the motions of each one, rather than understanding why we've arrived at that particular place, which, for most of us, turns into internal conflict. It's how we emerge from that war within that make a world of difference. 

Speaking from experience, I'd say living is more than just survival.  For example, I tried to be a party animal. I'd go to clubs and parties I didn't like, around people I didn't know, drinking like a maniac. That didn't turn out too well, because I literally felt suffocated in those environments.  I tried to be nomadic, living here and there, with no plan, practically no money, and no trace of where I was or even who I was. That was nice while it lasted. Although, I still love to travel and will move to California, I know now that no matter where I go, I cannot run from myself.  I tried to fit in with the popular crowd by doing things that went against everything I believe in. Let's just say, I've finally embraced my inner often-anti-social nerd. I tried to love and give myself to men who were never right for me nor good to me. Since love can't be forced, that never worked out either. Thankfully, the genuine friends who love me through all my phases are still around, because trying to be someone I'm not isn't (and never was) worth losing them...or myself for that matter. 

The point is, no matter how good or bad of a place I've been in, I've come to realize how they have, in some way, all helped me grow.

In retrospect, I spent so many valuable years of my life trying to feel the way I feel in God's presence by foolishly trying to fill a void that I neglected on my own.  Oh, but sweet grace. By grace, here I am, standing in complete gratitude that I am able to be, despite where I've been. The future is looking so bright and full of promise from this view. Here, I am liberated and happy.  I can fly, soar, be limitless, and can still be completely safe, safer than I've ever been.  Most importantly, I am healed enough to return back to my true self again.  There are many things I don't know and constantly opening myself up to learn about everything; about life, about myself, and about my faith. But I do know that I never want to leave that energy field, only to be so lost and displaced, ever again. This is my simple freedom. 

Chymere Anais


Special thanks to GG Renee, who inspired me to write out my simple freedoms.  Funny thing is, as I was  in the middle of writing my thoughts out in my journal, that I didn't even plan to share, but I realized it is Friday and something worth using as a part of this series.  So maybe...hopefully...she can inspire you as well.  
Check out her blog here. 

1 comment

  1. I think we've all been there. We've all experienced a time in our lives where we weren't quite sure who we were. Or maybe, like me, I knew who I was, and then lost myself. Looking back, it's amazing how much I took and how much I allowed certain people to take from me. I had completely lost my control--the words and actions of others governed my emotions and my responses. But one day, I just woke up. And I took me back. And I regained my freedom. Such a simple yet invaluable freedom.

    Kudos to you for getting back. Kudos to me for getting back. It's so easy to lose yourself but quite hard to find. But we did it! (:


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