Sunday, December 28, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | A Season to Thrive

Journal Entry: 12.22.14

We're a couple of days away from Christmas. I'm not exactly festive, but I'm not sad either. Maybe, I'm somewhere in between, and perhaps, not even mid-way. Whatever it is I'm feeling is calm, which is not always the case for me emotionally, so that's a good thing. Just sitting in bed daydreaming about 2015, a brand new cycle of 365 days that I'm pretty anxious to walk into. Optimistic about better days to come.

Today, I opened the happiness jar I started at the beginning of this year. A lot of memories were created in 2014 and reading these little notes to myself reminded me of how incredibly blessed I am. God has been so good and I can't even begin to thank Him/Her enough.

I want this next year to be my season to thrive and I mean that from the bottom of my soul. I cannot expect to transform into the woman I'm designed to be if I'm not making the necessary changes/adjustments first.  It's time to accelerate and get all these dreams off the ground and out of my head into reality. And considering I've only been surrounding myself with positive energy and people who genuinely want to see me win, the only thing stopping me from reaching higher levels is me. 

I am aware that I need to really push pass the self-sabotaging limitations of myself in order to really go after the things I want in life. No more talking, daydreaming, and/or sulking about what I don't have or what I could have done. All I'll ever have is the moments I'm given. God willing, I'll be blessed with opportunities to see many more new years and will find it in myself to truly live each one, always choosing happiness, health, love, creativity, and purpose over everything else. 

I feel like there is something-some kind of magical, magnetic power-that I'm not quite tapping into, but I'm on the brink of somehow reaching that place. I feel myself in the process of attracting beautiful things into my existence. I'm ready for the new year, but is the new year ready for me? Quite frankly, it has no other choice. 

Love always,
♡ // @ChymereA

Pearls of Wisdom: Life is honestly what you make it. We all go through things that make us question if happiness could ever truly be yours, but you must rise above those insecurities and moments of doubt and claim the happiness you deserve. Put in work, because no one is going to do it for you. You are the gateway to a better tomorrow; it's your choice to remain closed or open yourself up to all the wonderful things the universe has made available to you. 

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Committing to the self-love journey over the past 6 months on my blog has played a key role in my personal development and my plan is to continue to write through it. I've not only discovered so much about who I am, it's also taught me a lesson of vulnerability and allowing my scars to show. Although these have essentially been love notes to myself, I can only hope that I've inspired someone else along the way. Thank you so much for all the kind and encouraging words and for sending nothing but peace and positive energy my way as I share intimate pieces of my heart and take you on this journey with me. You will never know how much it means to have strangers who uplift you and whose spirits fill/feel you via a computer screen. To the loyal readers and the people who are simply passing through, I thank you for your on going presence and support. ♥ C.A.

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Sunday, December 14, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Sometimes Ambitious

We are all aiming to live an exceptional life, even though our paths to achieving such a life vary. It's in my human nature to wonder if I'm going about life the right way; I believe we all do, which is why the self-help industry in any shape or form continues to capitalize its way through pop culture. Despite all the guides and insight available on how to live life, at some point, we have to figure out for ourselves what success means. For one group, it is a rat race, all competing with one another to attain a certain status and/or level of success. For another group, it's creating opportunities for themselves and following their own bliss. For both, it's a matter of searching for life's peak and attempting to reach ones highest potential. Although I have nothing against people in the first cluster, I absolutely consider myself to be intertwined with the latter.  

The dream chasers. The ones who will stop at nothing to get there, but often times have no clue where to start or how to make the best of what they have in this moment to make things happen...and I'm a huge advocate for making things happen. However, I found myself at a crossroads again, drained from running towards my goals at full speed, and suddenly, not knowing which way to turn or if I should turn at all. I came to a place where I knew the dreams embedded in my heart weren't exactly a stretch of the imagination anymore, but they felt so far away at the same time, therefore the chase became exhausting and I almost lost sight of them. 

One thing I've learned from being in this mind space is how important it is to be in alignment with the things I want. I can't pray for something if my actions are working against whatever it is I'm praying for, but then expect it to manifest.  In that regard, I have to meet God half-way and not expect the universe to do all the work for me. Now I know, in retrospect, to keep my vision clear and plain view, because any time you want something bad enough, it's hard to not keep going. 

I've noticed-in my experiences and that of others-it doesn't pay off to be sometimes ambitions-to sometimes want to be successful or to sometimes want to live a beautiful life-because those sometimes moments always turn into prolonged periods of laziness for most people. In other words, go hard or go home. This is what separates the doers from the dreamers; if you stay in dreamland too long, you'll eventually lose hope in dreams ever coming true. I never want to get to that place.

In a previous [self] love letter, I've written about perception and the realization of ones potential, but this is about knowing what to do once the mental part is resolved. This is about staying disciplined and continuing to go after a dream fearlessly, even in moments of doubt and perspiration. The crossroads are presented to teach us a lesson, not to create an obstacle, at least not one that's impossible to conquer. 

Gem for the Day:  The law of attraction has a lot to do with movement, not just affirming words and pretty pictures. Imagine the thought of you being granted everything you work for! With that in mind, understand that manifestation involves action. Don't stop at the crossroads to question if you're doing the right thing or not. Just keep moving forward and trust that wherever you roam will lead you somewhere wonderful. 


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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | An Act of Release

Despite how freeing it is to finally let go of something, it's not always a speedy process. It may take some people longer than others to get to a place in their existence where the hurt, pain, damage, etc. is just not worth holding on to anymore. We are all so infatuated with time, that we allow the time to pass while we're complaining about it. The point, though, is not to keep track of the time, but to take the time to heal in spite of it. 

For example, I spent years, literally, blaming a particular person for the damage they caused, for "ruining my ability to love". Even when I thought I moved on, when no one was watching, I would mull over the things that went wrong and what I could have done differently.  I created this ideal image of what happened within our involvement with one another to avoid facing the cold, hard reality. The most significant part was looking in the mirror and realizing the role I played in allowing one person to have that much control over my mind and emotions. No one should have that much power over you. 

Then one day, I craved closure. Not only was the previously mention situation still haunting me in a way, it was creating a blockage that wasn't fair to the person I'm currently building with.  This is not to imply that moving on always requires [direct] closure, but it was absolutely necessary for me personally. 

I remembered a message I wrote that was saved on my notes app that pretty much said (in nicer language, of course), "Good-bye and have a nice life"; waiting for me to release it to who it was intended for. Every now in then, I'd read it and prayed for the day where I was courageous enough to mean what was said, but it just sat there, because I wanted my words to hold weight. I kept thinking to myself, especially during moments when I saw all the goodness happening right in front of my face, 'Girl. Let it go.'  So on this particular day, I decided it was time.

Self-love is a continuous process and often times, quite challenging, so I continue to write through it. Hoping my mess message will make a difference in someone else's life. Writing a letter is the best way I've ever known how to express myself. I sent the note as an act of release and I was taken back by my own bravery. Seeing that he did indeed read it was such a relief, which was even more of a surprise to me (I thought I would be hurt by the lack of response, but I really wasn't affected at all, to be honest). And let me just say from this and many other experiences, letting go of something that you've been holding on to in vain has to be one of the most liberating feelings in the world. 

Pearls of Wisdom: It's all a matter of finding forgiveness in your heart, distributing it out to anything/anyone that hinders joy, growth, or inner peace, and not worrying that your compassion will somehow deplete the more you give it away. To forgive others is to heal self. Forgive others so that you are able to move forward without negativity pulling you backwards. 




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Sunday, November 2, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Perception.

As we all know from basic physical science that potential is the possibility of a thing, while kinetic is the action and force behind the realization of potential. A brick can potentially shatter a glass mirror, distort and reshape whatever image it holds completely, but not without force or action. A woman can reshape whatever image she holds in her mind, but not without force or action.  

In our lives, we can sense and differentiate between when something is stagnant and when something is moving. Sometimes we see it in literal forms, most times we can't. Even subconsciously, we are able to recognize when something shifts from one state to another. It doesn't matter if we decide to adapt accordingly or if we try with all our might to resist, the change is still happening, because change is inevitable. 

For a long period of time, I felt stuck. I reached this chateau in life and didn't know how to manipulate my environment to how I saw fit.  Now, if I made the decision back then to trust God and be still, I wouldn't wreck my brain trying to control the circumstances, but...I'll get back to that.  The point is, I was stagnant. I couldn't move, I couldn't decide on anything, and because my vision was so clouded with what was happening in my immediate view, I didn't understand my purpose of being there. My mind wasn't in the right place, so everything I did to try to change my situation was null and void, pretty much. So I wallowed and cried and imprisoned myself with indecision.

Then I gave up. In an almost sudden movement, Instead of trying to push and question my placement, I prayed for peace. I surrendered control and learned to hold myself accountable for certain things. I decided that my might alone wasn't strong enough. That's when the shift happened, or at least that's when I noticed shift was happening all along. That's when the universe began to show me things and construct doors that weren't there before. The changes that took place were so beyond anything I could've imagined for myself and that deserted chateau became something else. I was now on a beach, surrounded by beauty and positive energy. It was like magic. Anyone can reshape whatever image she holds in her mind, but not without force or action. 

God stepped in and transformed my mind, open my heart, and made me not only realize the power within me (Exodus 9:16), but also the power of perception (Ecclesiastes 2:14). By the way, I don't mean to preach here, just sharing my story, testimony, whatever you want to call it. To divert to more scientific terminology for all my logical thinkers reading, American sculptor, Horatio Greenough, phrased it best:

"Whether it be the sweeping eagle in his flight, or the open apple-blossom, the toiling work-horse, the blithe swan, the branching oak, the winding stream at its base, the drifting clouds, over all the coursing sun, form ever follows function, and this is the law. Where function does not change, form does not change...It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic, of all things physical and metaphysical, of all things human and all things superhuman, of all true manifestations of the head, of the heart, of the soul, that the life is recognizable in its expression, that form ever follows function. This is the law."

Form follows function is a commonly used phrase in most S.T.E.M. based courses in academia, so I don't know how much more proof is needed to convey just how powerful the unseen (energy, mental capacity, force, etc.) is and for God to bless us with all this power when he created us never fails to amaze me. 

Pearls of the day: I challenge you upon reading this, to relinquish your need to control; to understand that there is a higher force working on your behalf. Nothing is as bad as you perceive it to be. You are there for a reason. You are here, on earth, for a purpose. Even if you believe in the Big Bang theory, just think of how the stars are placed in the sky. You are made in the image of a divine creator and there is nothing more phenomenal than that. 

♡ // Chymere Anais

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Sunday, October 19, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | No Rush

Have you ever looked back in photo albums and wish you took more pictures? Sometimes, nostalgia does that to people like me. I'd smile at the memories, so clear and vivid, but still left feeling like I could have captivated more of those fleeting moments that are forgotten with age. Although it's not always as vital to be behind the camera as it is to just be, there are chances and tools [to capture more photographs] that we allow to slip away into the abyss, never to be reconciled with again.

A large percentage of our lives are spent rushing to the finish line, anxious for "the next big thing" to happen. When we're 11, we can't wait to officially be a teenager. When we're 16 we can't wait to be 18, and so forth. Instead of absorbing moments for what they really are, our minds are fixated on future (non-existent) ones. At last, we find ourselves at that golden hour we've anticipated, helplessly wondering where time went and contemplating what's next.  

Between the goal and the idea realized, there is so much substance hanging in the balance that we miss chasing the final result. Waiting is a game of opportunity; it's perfect time to grow, improve, build, but most importantly, it's a time to really be present and enjoy the process of dreams happening. I strongly believe that the individuals who learn to smile during the wait are happier and are more at peace within themselves and whatever circumstances they may face. And the chief aim of this journey of self-love is to be more at peace within /outside of myself. 

Great things come to those who work hard with good hearts, humble spirits, and who are patient enough to trust the process.”[original quote]

Pearls of the Day: Practice patience. Don't be so anxious for the end result of things. Try to remember that everything that is supposed to happen will happen and waiting period doesn't necessarily mean idle. Trust the process, learn more, keep growing, and build up to that point.
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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Transforming Negatives Into Positives

Last week, I was tormented with something that put me in a rather intense wave of depression.  It sent me on this spiral downward and I could not stop crying over things that I couldn't control. The tears clouded my vision; I could not focus nor could I see the sun, the perception of the many blessings I've been given, mildly distorted. It seemed like the end of the world. However, one morning, I woke up in time to catch the sunrise and took that as a sign from the universe, telling me in the most artistic form possible: The storm will pass and life will continue. The storm passed and life continued. 

We all face shadows in our life and circumstances. Think back on all the previous times, when you felt completely overwhelmed by the darkness, and alone. You thought you couldn't make it through, but here you are, alive, breathing, and so far estranged from those moments. It's hard to process positive thoughts, but you have to remember that darkness builds character.

Life gets easier the moment you become aware of how to handle adversity with grace and bounce back from failure to failure victoriously. Life is hard, but that doesn't mean you are under any obligation to look like "the struggle". In many cases, we've only failed because we've depended on society to tell us what failure looks like. Understand that outside people can only see what you allow them to see. You are a representation of God, your family, your culture, etc.

As cliche as it sounds, rainbows only show up after rain. You have to go through the trials to get to that metaphorical pot of gold. When life gets you down, pick yourself up and turn those sour lemons into sweet lemonade. Life is too short for pity parties. Stay focused and stand tall in knowing that God never gives you anything you can't handle. 

Pearls of the Day: Your story is beautiful because of the battle scars you try so hard to conceal.  The pain doesn't define you; it refines you. Nothing is more admirable than someone who lived in the valley, yet made it to the mountain top, some how.  You are strong enough and creative enough to make the negatives in life work for you and not against you. 
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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | BE the Standard

A huge, and often misunderstood aspect of the law of attraction is that you attract who you are. It's more than  the affirmations you say aloud and the images posted to your wall for visualization; it's a total mental adjustment that has to be made. That basically means that on some level, conscious or subconscious, you attract certain things, people, situations into your life.  Our minds are such a powerful tool and if we're not careful, it can totally work against us. The more we become aware of what is going on beneath the surface, the better we are able to understand and recreate our circumstances.  

Today, I've created a short, detailed list of things I have been working on for years and still learning how to master. Hopefully, it helps someone better navigate their self love journey as well: 

1. How people approach you, along with what they feel comfortable telling you, says more about who YOU are than who they are. Do people feel comfortable gossiping with you or are they more inclined to share their dreams with you? Do your male friends respect you enough to treat you like a lady, even if you are just a friend? If you are surrounded by men who dog women and women who are fully of drama, that's not mankind working against you; it's you.  It's all about what kind of energy you exude. Love yourself enough to attract good things and good people into your life.

2. Lose that sense of entitlement. It's dangerous for anyone to feel entitled to anything.  For instance, an employee goes into his/her boss' office demanding a raise. When the boss asks why, their response is how many years they've been at the job.  The boss proceeds to remind that person of a long list of poor performance and the fact that he/she is fortunate to still have the job they have. The employee gets upset for no reason and storms out of the office. The reasons why we feel entitled are endless. Often times, we tend to treat life this way, as if the world is suppose to respond to our temper tantrums. You deserve friends when you show yourself friendly, you deserve a to be promoted when you work hard to earn it, and the list goes on. No one owes you anything.

3. Stop setting unrealistic standards. Unrealistic standards happen when someone isn't aligned with what they want, especially when it comes to relationships.  It's not fair to pray for something that you aren't receptive to at that point in your life (i.e. wanting something new, but not having room in your life for it). It's also unfair to want something that you don't have to offer. 

4. Most importantly, treat yourself well.  In keeping with the law of attraction theme, the way you feel about yourself will manifest how others feel about you. This goes hand in hand with the previous point. If you want people who honor, respect, and appreciate you, those people will only show up when you've learned to honor, respect, and appreciate yourself. They will gravitate towards your confidence and your good energy. The most amazing individuals practically show up on your doorstep when you are able to care for you without the need for outside validation. The better your relationship with yourself is, the better your relationships with others become. 

Pearls for the day: Work on building your house up before inviting anything/anyone in. Stay balanced. Stay focused. Stay positive. Last, but not least, Be the standard, and the rest will follow. Love starts from within.

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Sunday, August 24, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Continue.

There are certain things that I admit to allowing to get under my skin; one of those things being injustice and disrespecting human rights.  When the news about Ferguson hit, it was like I'd never heard bad news a day in my life and it became a domino effect. When it comes to human tragedy imposed on another human, I will never be immune to things like that. However, what I've been learning about myself as all of this has transpired is learning how to not take on the negative energies that takes place outside of my control. Protecting my peace, as Lindsay so eloquently put it H E R E

The other day while we were watching a gospel program on TV, Mother Darling told me that I'm becoming more and more cynical. Although I defended myself, her sharing that put a mirror to my face. Then, I finally realized that my defense told me she was right and I know if she noticed it, others have too. Another similar incident made me see that mirror once more. In a debate I got into with a former classmate of mine surrounding the recent issues in Missouri, I was called out about my delivery. Let me just say, she is an extremely intelligent girl with a constant flow of beautiful thoughts, but my attitude interrupted what could have very well been a descent conversation. We later talked about it and her words sparked something that mom used to tell me all the time: it's not what you say, but how you say it. That also confirmed that my current state of cynicism is rubbing off on how I speak to people, which is not cool. 

Honestly, I have become jaded by all the darkness I open my spirit up to every time I turn on the news or anytime I let someone else's hurt define me. A number of things exist in this world that cause me to react, more than understand, and even though I know this about myself, it's almost like I indulge in the torture of it all.

Of course this was a gradual shift in my character, because things like that happen over time. There is a Lauryn Hill song that immediately comes to mind as I reflect on what transformation I sense happening at the moment. Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem, baby girl. Yeah...that one. And I'm really trying to learn how to not let how passionate I am by nature get the worst of me. 

I am at a place now where I want the love I know I have inside of me to shine at its full capacity from every single dimension of who I am. I want to love myself enough to be more at peace...with myself, with others, and the world/my community in order to find true happiness and not let go when something bad happens.  When I leave an impression on someone, I don't want it to just "be good" or acceptable; I want it to make a difference. This has inadvertently become the chief aim, so to speak, of my self ♡ love journey. 

Pearls for the day: Continue to pray. Continue to dream. Continue to love (and let it be magical). Continue to thrive in every environment God places you in. And let people wonder and be inspired by how you do it. 

♡ // Chymere Anais

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Sunday, August 10, 2014

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | The Introduction

“I found God in myself and I loved her...I loved her fiercely” - Ntozake Shange
Hello and welcome to the first installment of Self-Love Sundays!

Wanting to start this bi-monthly series was sparked by a few things, the first thing, or set of things rather, being a few epiphanies I've had so far this year like t h i s  o n e. The best way I can explain those: it is like watching a close friend grow into a mutual love with someone. A few years pass and you're at their wedding. You're so happy to have witnessed the glow of answered prayers, the excitement rising, the happiness that seems to flow effortlessly between two human beings, something you desire for yourself as well. Not so much jealousy as it is human nature; to want love and to be loved.  That's the same feeling I get when I see individuals who exude a certain level of confidence and have fallen completely in love with who they are. These are usually women who have become whole and confident within themselves and I really do admire that. When I did my own self-evaluation, I felt like something was missing; like I was happy, but not complete. Writing in my journal, talking to good friends, I was able to see that and knew it was up to me to do something about it. 


The second spark was from a couple of young ladies I stumbled across on YouTube, AshleyDBeauty. Inspired by Heather L. Lindsey's ministry, Ashley spoke about her journey to self-love, becoming the woman she was created to be, a woman after God's own heart, and not depending on randoms to satisfy her or make her feel complete. She candidly shared her struggles with chasing the wrong things rather than God and initially having the wrong motives. after watching her, YT suggested Angel Walston, who basically has the same message in regards to taking advantage of single season to strengthen her daily walk with Christ. Both of them made me realize that maybe that the "something missing" was my faith was staggering, that my connection with God had grown weak, and above all else, I knew that was a relationship I wanted and needed to restore.

So now, here I am, opening myself up to allow you guys to be apart of this journey with me. It has been on my heart to do so at some point this year, and I'm hoping that someone will be inspired whatever I'm lead to say. Even if you don't consider yourself to be a Christian, this is more about spirituality than it is about religion. God is just my way of reaching the depths of myself and how I'm able to recognize divinity in others. Also, it is my conviction that God loves us all, despite our beliefs and/or religious practices.

The Self  Love journey is just as much for me as it is for others. I don't think I'm perfect, far from it, but it's on my heart do do this and that's what this is all about. I'm so excited about the transformation I sense is about to take place and hope that it encourages at least one person out there.



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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Inspiration + Prequel to Self-Love Sundays


Starting August 10, 2014, I will be implementing a 'SELF  LOVE SUNDAYS' weekly installment on the blog. After having a binge of AshleyDBeauty YT videos and listening to some of Heather Lindsay's podcast one night, I was on this natural high and immediately knew it was something I wanted to implement in my own life and add to the small collection of series on my blog. Of course, my journey will be slightly different from theirs as it won't be solely about relationships and romantic love, but it was definitely inspired by these 2 beautiful and amazing women of God. God confirmed the motive in my spirit  through an epiphany I had/experienced on my birthday. Without giving out too many spoilers, I'll just say: I cannot wait to inspire others as much as I can  by sharing more personal pieces and allowing God to speak to and through me.

Chymere A.
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