Monday, February 24, 2014

WildflowersUnscripted | DAY #24: Last Time I Cried

For good reason, I'm sure, this month has been full of tears.  Some have been reactions to sad news while others have been full of joy. The stories varied and at one point, it was all just an overwhelming rush of things occurring to and around me, shifting the world as I know it.  From hearing about the death of a friend to the wedding of another, the floodgates have been opened. However, the last time I really cried, it was my spirit absorbing what was happening my immediate environment. 

This weekend has been a major move of God.  For the past few weeks or so, I've been really struggling with different things, trying to conquer demons standing on my own.  Along with that, my church became less of a priority as other things became more important.  It wasn't that I was missing going to church on Sunday, but I was going inside a building, seeking the truth in outside places, and suddenly confused about what truth is. As a result, I lost momentum without realizing the reason why.  Later I discovered I simply wasn't where I was supposed to be. 

Now, I do not consider myself to be a "religious" person, just because of the connotation of religion itself, but I have always believed in refueling the spirit and the prime time to do that has always been on Sunday.  It keeps me grounded and sets a positive tone for the week ahead. I've discovered the best way of doing that is through church, and not just any church, but somewhere that I feel connected to the ministry and a place where I'm being fed spiritually and mentally.  Before this Sunday, I hadn't been doing that and as a result, my life just seemed so off balance, but these past few days have compensated for everything I missed out on.  

Last night, a few of my friends from church gathered, and it was almost too amazing for words.  The energy in the room was intense, but not in an uncomfortable sense.  I am just so grateful to now be surrounded by people who not only make me feel good, but people whose spirits and hearts for Christ draws me to them. Some of them I've known for years while others are more recent additions, but each of them are indefinitely family. As we were in intellectual dialogue about a myriad of topics, I could see what God was doing in the midst, how strategic everything has been up to this point in all of our lives, and I couldn't help but to cry. Tears of gratitude, joy, peace just flowed against my own resistance and I really can't describe what was felt. I do know that everyone was completely on the same wavelength; it just showed me that I wasn't alone. 

God works in amazing and clever ways...and all I can do is be grateful for that presence in my life. 

-Chymere A.


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