Sunday, February 14, 2016

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Focus on the good.

Lately, I haven't been proactive about practicing gratitude; I haven't put much effort into finding and acknowledging the the good stuff that is constantly showing up in my life. There are days I wake up so full of life, love, and other things, but there are days where I reach the opposite extreme and feel so lifeless and down for no reason at all. It's been plenty of days where I would really lose myself in negative thoughts, latch on to negative situations, and convince myself that because of previous mistakes I somehow deserve this. However, I'm coming to an understanding of how unfair that is to me, how deflective it is of the amount of love I claim to have for myself, and how easily all that negativity rubs off on the people who love me dearly.

For instance, I have the job I want, the exact position I prayed to be in, yet when I get home, I'm complaining for hours about something I dislike about my job. I worked extremely hard to buy a car last year (after being car-less for nearly 4 years), but complain when I have to maintain it. This is just a surface-level insight on the long list of blessings that I don't say thank you for enough and actually don't take full responsibility for, yet are the same ones that if I ever lost them, I don't know how I'd function without. Sometimes, more often than not, gratitude is the catalyst for life to manifest in really beautiful ways, a truth I've witnessed many times first hand.

Not too long ago, I made a conscious decision to "end" my Self-Love♡Sundays series, mainly because I was so frustrated that I wasn't following my own advice through it all. Self-love, of course, is a journey we're always on individually and even though I started it to help others, after a while, I began to feel strange dishing out words of wisdom to a person who wasn't even trying to listen (ME). As inspirational as that series may be, reading those post now make me think of myself as being hypocritical, because here I am with all this amazing advice and nothing to show for it. It always keeps me wondering why I continue to stand in my own way and as I'm writing, I realize that this post is yet another a reminder to simply get out my own way.

Something must be done; I have to do better. It's been my mission to open my eyes, mind, and heart a little more and pay close(r) attention to all the awesome things happening right in front of me/all around me, even the small things that so many people take for granted. It's obvious that every day won't be perfect, every situation I find myself in won't be ideal, but I still have to find as many opportunities as possible to be grateful for life as it is in each moment, to make a conscious effort to face the fear, dismiss the anxiety, and focus on the good. 

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2 comments

  1. I think every single person feels like this at more than one point in their lives. At least I know I do. And it's probably more often than I'd like to admit. But I think what's important is that you've recognized your issue and you're addressing it. The fact that you're putting forth the effort is a good thing. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't give too much of yourself where you're too drained to address your own needs. Give as much effort as you feel you can each day and you'll make it back to your center lovely. (:

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  2. I agree.. we all go through the motions. Its okay to go through these motions. As long as you recognize the steps in order to get back to positive. You got this Sis!

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