Thursday, January 5, 2017

Jack Daniels + Sunflowers


I don't even know what this rant is about, but I feel myself flowing with it, so if it confuses you, you've been warned. 

My aesthetic is changing, so is my mood. For instance, I really only wear black now, not because I'm sad or anything, I just like the way it feels. I like the way it moves and appreciate it's simplicity. I purchased a black iPhone this time around and all my journals these past couple of years have been black. I think it's my power color. I dig the nostalgia of black (vinyl, VHS tapes, magnetic tape strips, etc.) Classic. Essentially, "Black is the queen of all colors." 

I've always gravitated towards things that aren't immediately beautiful, like abandoned homes + grunge photography. All of it inspires me in a way; to go on more adventures, take more pictures, explore the beautiful sides of ugly. It makes me believe that the world really is my oyster, because here lie all these opportunities to transform, to create, to make something out of nothing. The BEST content comes from living more, as suggested by my best friend Sheriden, and I couldn't agree more. carpe diem

It's odd that so many people try so hard to be artistic, because just being is so damn poetic within itself. How could you not embrace that? How can people spend so much money trying to look a certain way when God took the time to make us unique individuals? Like...is this t-shirt really $80 just to "look" like a hipster? I admire people who just are who they are, love it or hate it. 

Ever so often, I indulge in wines + spirits. Big fan of bourbon whiskey. A few years ago, I locked in this image via tumblr of sunflowers (my favorite type of flower, btw) in a Jack Daniels bottle and rember thinking it was brilliant. So simple, yet brilliant nonetheless, and such a telling representation of me.

I'm not everyone's cup of tea; actually, I'm more like a shot of whiskey in a tea cup. No, I don't intentionally decieve people, but it's not nice to judge a cup by its exterior anyway. I just think people's perception of me changes once they get to know me. None of that makes me any less beautiful. 

Even my perception of me has shifted over the years as I evolve. I didn't always like flowers as gifts, now I do. I didn't always drink dark liquor, now I do. I use to wish to change my heart into something cooler and refigure its capacity, just so it would be tolerable for others; now I love the way I love and wouldn't change it for the world
"I feel like other women fall in love like dropping feather...naturally, soft, elegant fall...And I fall in love in spills or explosions. I haven't decided if that's a good thing or not, but inclined to say it's not..." 
-Chymere A. [Facebook status] 12/23/15 4:10pm

As I adapt to my own changes, people who were only connected by common interest have drifted away, which I'm learning to be okay with. At the end of the day, not everyone likes bourbon whiskey. And I prefer it that way, because it's too much pressure to appease everyone. 

A part of this journey-in large-is embracing who I am and neglecting who I once pretended to be. Finding + loving more of myself in every phase, stage, and crossroad, being gentle with myself when I don't have all the answers.
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it.”
—Bruce Lee


Thanks for reading. 

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