Blocked.

Sometimes I wonder whether or not writer's block is real or if it interchanges between an excuse and something to blame for my lack of production, my lack of discipline. Then, there's that word discipline, a concept that I've only recently began to associate with writing, simply because writing a whole novel requires a level of discipline that I know I haven't fully tapped into. I can't just wing it. I can't just go with the flow. 

To be fair, it's not just the novel experiencing a hold up; I even find myself struggling to come up with something to write in my own journal, despite the million thoughts running in and out of my head constantly. I haven't blogged in what feels like forever. These days my words are reduced to whatever I come up with while I'm scrolling my TL and engaging with my followers. Nothing about that sounds healthy in terms of what I put out into the world as a writer and aspiring author. 

Although I read quite a bit, every time I complete a book I'm dissatisfied with the fact that I haven't finished the first draft that I started over 2 years ago at this point. Writing is not only something I've always known I wanted to do with my life to some degree, but also something God placed in my heart to do a very long time ago. There is a divine purpose behind it and it's a rather uncomfortable position to be in to not be living out what I was called to do, essentially. 

Even in this moment, as I'm scripting out the words to say on a blog I'm not sure that anyone still reads, I'm forcing myself to write through whatever is stopping me from putting thoughts on paper, on a digital blank canvas, just because - like I said - it's been a while, and I really do need to get back in the flow of writing. It breaks my heart that the most natural thing in the world to me hasn't been easy for me as of late. Maybe if I spend less time on social media...

I digress. 

On top of all that, I'm in the middle of re-branding my business acumen, re-branding my entire life really, creating new goals with deadlines for myself, and aiming to be on a totally new wave by the time January hits. 2024 is a mere 4 months away. I've committed 2024 to being my Kobe year with a message of "Do it for Kobe" on days I don't have the will power to do it for myself. The end result, however, is always to glorify God. 

I cannot for a single second expect for next year will be any different from the past few years if I continue down the road of procrastination and not giving 100% to the things I know I'm supposed to be doing. Because if I'm being honest, it's hard to call this a writer's block when there's a myriad of reasons why my creativity feels stagnant. It could mean my Sacral Chakra is blocked, as I do consider myself to be a spiritual person and one who is not always aligned properly with my highest self, my highest vibration. It could mean a call to action to unpack, get settled in my new place, clean + cleanse my physical space. Or it could be a need to surrender, give it to God, ask for guidance and direction from the omnipresent, all knowing, all seeing God. Who knows? Maybe this blog post is just the breakthrough I needed. 

So far this year, I've read a total of 31 books with a GoodReads goal of 50. It would be a dream for my book to be 1 of the 50 I read, or at least a bonus read. Finish the first draft before the year is over. Breathe. You got this. Nothing wrong with a little pep talk to stop myself from spiraling. 

Now I feel ready to conquer the world at 11:24 a.m. How fitting that the minute is 24. 

Ps-if you would like to know what I'm reading or what books have my attention at any given moment, follow my #Bookstagram (IG): @BookGyalMagic 

Currently.

Hello good people and citizens of the world!

It's been a minute since I've blogged and I figured I'd start off BHM with a pretty simple list of things I'm loving, working on, anticipating, etc. I used to complete these types of lists on the blog fairly consistently, so I decided, in lei of consistency being one of my words for the year, snuggled up with 'accountability', why not bring the series back? Not only is this a simple, "ice-breaker" way to get reacclimated to blogging again, it's helping me fill the void I've experienced from not writing and cultivating my need to create just for the fun of it.

♡ Aiming to: wake up every single day and do at least 3 things that contribute to my success and accomplishing my goals, an idea I adopted from one of my fave YouTubers, Erin on Demand, who - I believe - was the creator initially responsible for the concept of the Top 3 challenge, that encouraged her audience to write down just 3 goals to do daily that would ultimately help check off . So far, so good, but there's still plenty of room for improvement

♡ Thinking: that it's beyond time for me to start blogging consistently again (and later I'll discuss why 'consistency' is one of my words for the year) and this post is obviously my attempt at doing so. 

♡ Doing: the work it takes to heal and pour into myself in order to be in position to consistently show up as my best self, which includes going to therapy, something I never thought I'd be comfortable doing, but has proven to be extremely helpful

20|22 Vision

The vision + the mood for 2022 is going to be wildly different. I’ve slept on myself, my ideas, my talents, my dreams for way too long. I can’t allow another year to just pass on by without going after everything I want and fully trusting that God will fill in the gaps with what I need. I’m focused on what’s ahead, not looking back, because I believe that what’s in store for me - on the other side of fear and doubt - is far greater than what lies behind me. 

This will be a peaceful and drama-free year, because I am absolutely exhausted by all the stress, rage, emotions, etc. that come with drama. I won’t have time for any of that. Staying focused on getting back to a place where I’m hella focused and too busy to entertain anything that doesn’t align with the life I’m aiming to build for myself. It’s game time and I’m in it to win it! 

This year, I intend to:

…be the happiest and most fulfilled I’ve ever been happy

…have a thriving and successful business and career in A LANE I CREATED FOR MY DAMN SELF. 

…be at peace.  

…have one of my dream cars by the end of the year

…love in a beautiful oasis of a home in the city I love 

…be surrounded by a group of genuine, driven, positive, loyal, kind, loving, and supportive individuals who make up my thrive tribe 

…have the funds + flexibility to …travel often with the people I love

… My partner and I are in a healthy committed relationship grounded in God, love, trust, and mutual respect. 

…have a life full of luxury and 

adventure 

…attract unique, high paying clients every month, consistently. 

…stick to a workout regimen ((“May the abs continue getting flatter and the booty + (pockets) continue getting bigger”)) 

…be the best human I can be and fully tap into my potential

“What I’ve learned is to always keep going…because, eventually, that storm passes…” — Kobe Bryant | RIP 

The Rebrand: Create | Hu$tle | Thrive

This past year was a wild, wild ride. I learned so much about myself, my triggers, my limits, life in general. To test how truly resilient I am, I hit my breaking point - my personal rock bottom - last year, yet here I stand, on the other side of everything that was sent to destroy me. Thankful. Now, I’m just focusing on creating a beautiful life for myself, hustling using the talents and gifts God blessed me with, and thriving in my divine feminine more and more each day. Like Issa Rae said: “It’s feeling like me season right now” and it does, 100%. 

In 2009, I discovered blogging and was then introduced to a healthy outlet to express my thoughts, my perspectives. It’s a shame that I’ve gone so long without doing the thing I’m the most passionate about, which is writing. There’s been a creative blockage that has seemed to last ages at this point. Although I am a bit rusty, because it’s been a while, my word of the year is consistency, so I’m adding this blog to the list of things to do, consistently.  

The resurrection and relaunch of #TheSkyBoxSuite, a brand and online publication dedicated to Sports and Music, is in the works as well. Technology, Creativity, and Entrepreneurship are the 3 categories I’ve decided to add to the mix, so I’m super excited about getting that up and running again. 

In addition to all of that, I’m also working on my debut novel, which hasn’t seen the light of day in several months. Hopefully, I’ll be done with the first draft by the 2nd quarter and ready to publish by the end of Q3. So it’s a lot of writing going on over here and I’m feeling confident about diving head first back into everything. 

What’s on your radar for 2022? What are your intentions for the new year? How are you staying creative? I’d love to hear from you and continue building a community of supporters.

Thought Spills When I Should Be Asleep

It's almost 4AM and I am restless. Watched the Bucks - Rockets game. Caught up on some YouTube videos. Finished reading the book I was reading. Pretty much did everything except work on my digital portfolio. And the utter boredom in wee hours of the morning made room for my thoughts to go whichever way they saw fit, leaving me no room for the sleep I'm currently craving. 

Life. Life has been...somewhat interesting; every week varies. Some days, I feel like I'm on autopilot, barely existing. Other days, life is so robust and full of pleasant surprises and moments of happiness (that I try to not hold onto too tightly and therefore, neglecting to stay present). Then there are those days where every thought and emotion comes unexpectedly rushing to me at once, invading my space and sitting there until I find a way to ward them off. Either I'm somewhere at home, trying to make the most of my time or I'm questioning the purpose of life and thinking of all the things I took for granted pre-2020.

So I'll start with yesterday...how yesterday was absolutely perfect and so full of good vibes and positive energy. Good people. Good food. Quality time spent in the pool underneath a blaring sun, slightly shaded by the clouds. The only thing I hated was that I do not share the same affection for this genuine and amazing guy who likes me, who was also the reason for such an amazing day. I really hate that the main reason I don't like him back is mainly because he's too nice. Inexplicably nice. Sounds horrible, I know...I'm just being honest.

Regardless of who I'm with or who I'm thinking about romantically at any given moment, it shouldn't matter, because there are bigger, more important things to focus my attention on, such as my career, getting my finances in order, potentially moving across the country during a pandemic...I really can't afford to be distracted right now, which is what I've been telling myself for the past few months. Even in the moments of pure bliss, I know there's more - more that I should be doing, more that I'm reaching towards, more that the circumstances I'm in, as well as what I choose to be distracted by.

Then a reminder. 

As I was eyeing over my collection of books, trying to figure out what to read next, I randomly picked up 'More Than Enough' by Elaine Welteroth again, simply because I felt like reading, and a couple pages in, I was hit by a ton of bricks: 

"When your dreams are bigger than the places you find yourself in, sometimes you need to seek out your own reminders that there is more. And there is always more waiting for you on the other side of fear."

 And this one, especially regarding my casual mention of a potential cross-country move:

"I was finally waking up to my own possibilities, and to a deeper realization of the power of vision and faith - two of the most important tools I would need on my journey. For the first time, I understood that the bigness of my life would be determined not only by the bigness of my dreams, but also by my capacity to trust that there is a Higher Power who would always take those dreams and multiply them." 

Love it when my thoughts end up in revelations, so I wasn't just roaming the endless corridor of my thoughts and my bookshelf at 4 in the morning in vain.

@ChymereA

Afraid (of the inside)

It did seem like the world collapsed overnight, but even when it did my peace is the thing that scared me the most. 

I was not afraid to go outside, not afraid to speak kindly to a passing neighbor, not afraid to catch the first cheap flight out to salvage a broken friendship between me and my ex, only to create a new one with his current lover. Why? Because I'm rarely afraid of anything outside of myself. 

It's always the inside shit that frightens me the most, as if the explosion of everything I hold onto internally will kill me in an instant. 

And it wasn't until I wrote it just now that I came to that conclusion. 

See, underneath all of the news surrounding this pandemic, as well as the tragedies sparked because of it, I sense that something else is taking place; something subtle and menacing and something that will catch us all off guard once it surfaces. Not to mention how the new laws very blatantly targets, yet fails to protect, the black community...on a global scale...and there is a bigger reason why I feared speaking on it at all, but I digress. 

In the midst of all the chaos, specifically in Georgia, my home state, major news is casually being swept under the rugs of oblivion, such as the Ahmaud Arbery case (that I've only seen 1 person out of 700 + friends on social media mention), because it can't possibly be as important as commanding everyone to stay indoors; to only go to the essential places that somehow largely exclude small businesses, and with little to no evidence, prosecute those who don't follow this new mandate. 

Perhaps, it was the worst time to binge a show like Handmaid's Tale, because now I can't get the idea of martial law out of my head, how possible it is for things that only dwell in imagination to happen in real life. I can't help but notice how all the conspiracy theories I've heard over the past few months are starting to make sense. Overwhelmed by an overload of information, searching for ways to escape this reality, and exasperated from being awakened...being "woke" is exhausting af. But I believe that being privileged enough to be blinded to all of it is a different form of imprisonment. Again, I digress. 

However, I've always been this way. No matter how naive I was assumed to be, I've always steered my life with eyes wide open, never closing them shut before the fall...or leap. Awareness of danger has never stopped me from living and I guess that's why I'm here, to encourage someone to keep living the best way they know how. 

A thought...I understand that everyone is a healthcare professional with tons of experience in political matters to have the know all to know how to go about this pandemic, but can we just collectively stop wishing death upon people, simply because they've chosen to go outside? I'm someone who questions religion and the validity of the Christian bible as we know it, but is it pure folklore to actually believe that life and death is in the power of the tongue like Proverbs 18:21 suggests? Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit (NKJV).

With all that's going on in the world right now, I'd like to implore a greater compassion for how others choose to live their lives during a time where panic, to some extent, is seeping through our pores like the poison it is. Someone may decide to risk it all and go have a fun day outside, simply because an abuser lives with and awaits them at home. Perhaps, sitting alone with themselves is a trigger for depression, suicidal thoughts, or other mental disorders in general. Yes, the "statistics" (distorted by too many unknown variables) are terrifying to hear about and there is a safety concern that people should remain cognizant of, however as we chant things like #StayHome, keep in mind that you never really know what people have going on within the walls of the places they call home, as everyone's version of safety varies.

It's a little grim, and maybe even extreme for some to think about, but the overall point is: have a little more compassion, because at this point, no one has all the answers except the universe itself, constantly unfolding, shifting, building, functioning as it should. The omnipotent God that we call different names is still very much in control. 

All in all, one day all of this will be a moment in time and rather than reversing back to "normal", things will be better than they were before...or am I a fool for believing that as well?

-Signing off- Chymere A. ♡ 

 Follow me on Twitter + IG: | ♡ @ChymereA

Allow me to Re-introduce myself...

My name is Chymere A., a multi-dimensional creative, sports/music/tech enthusiast, and former athlete. I'm also a veteran blogger, self-proclaimed writer, and freelance web designer, educated by the illustrious North Carolina A&T State University.  

Over time, as my personal and professional interest have varied, I've made a point to document the entire journey through blogging, opting to share my thoughts, opinions, perspectives and certain life experiences via the internet. Although I've been M.I.A. for the past few months, it does feel good to be back.

Navigating adulthood along with learning/adapting to the ends and outs of being an entrepreneur is a struggle sometimes and maintaining balance doesn't always come easy. Honestly, one of the reasons why I've dropped the ball on blogging was due to the fact that it's not making me money, so it hasn't been a top priority as of late, which is wild because it's never been about the money - as my creativity and the freedom of self expression is why I carved out a space for myself here on the internet in the first place. Remember why you started is valid advice in most instances. I didn't necessarily lose sight of that but - perhaps - somewhere down the line, the answers to my why have evolved. 

Instead of forcing content during my absence, I simply "fell back" and told myself that, when the time is right, I'll get back to blogging...eventually. After months of nothingness in terms of personal branding and often falling short when it came to writing about sports, it finally feels like the time is right. I think it's important to maintain a space that gives me complete creative control, where I'm not constantly thinking about articles like I am for #TheSkyBoxSuite or reshaping my creative ideas to fit someone else's vision like I do with freelance web design. As much as I love both and the opportunities that have come out of executing those ventures, I'm so incredibly thankful to have a space to express myself freely. 

As far as life updates are concerned, perhaps I'll save the more intricate details for another post. In a nutshell, I'm probably more career focused that I've ever been, my heart is open to love, and every single day, I come up with new/more improved ways to fall deeper in love with my entire self, especially on the days I battle with waves of depression and struggle to get out of bed in the morning. One day, I'll open up more about how hard that is, especially when you have a business to run and deadlines you're hired - and therefore obligated - to adhere to. Despite what is happening, whether it's inner turmoil or circumstances outside of my control, there is so much to be thankful for when I take the time to  stop and smell the sunflowers; genuine gratitude really has its way of putting things into perspective. Simply put, nothing is perfect, but life is good...even on days it could be better.

Those who know me, know that I started on this platform back in 08-09 and I've been blogging ever since. I took somewhat of a hiatus from personal blogging to focus more on The Sky Box Suite (an online pub dedicated to sports and music) but lately, something has been missing from that too, so I needed time to figure out what was lagging in the inspiration department and I think I finally found it. "It's all in meeeee..."

Sidenote: As I'm listening to Charles Hamilton's 2010 'SegaHamilton.blogspot.com' mix tape reminiscing on my OG blogger days, I may even keep the '.blogspot.com' for nostalgia purposes. Iconic.

so yea... I'm excited about all that I have planned and I'm looking forward to what beautiful chaos erupts from it. My heart is racing with all the dope ideas swarming around in my membrane that I cannot wait to execute.  If you're coming with positive energy and #GoodVibes, feel free to join me on this incredible journey of manifestation and living a life by design.

To those of you who are new here, welcome. To my A1, Day 1 members of my internet family, thank you, thank you for your constant support and unwavering patience. It is my intent to keep creating and hopefully my inspiration will follow suit, so that I can continue cultivating this little corner of the internet that is still, very much near and dear to my heart.

-Signing off-
Chymere A. ♡

Follow me on Twitter: | ♡ @ChymereA

When Preparation Meets Opportunity | Cheers to the Next 10 Years

Photo by Joe Hu on Unsplash

As I spent some time towards the end of 2017 reflecting on the year, I started to think about the last time I sincerely believed a year was my year. It's around this time that people are typically putting stake in the claim, entering a new calendar cycle with this whirlwind of optimism that was bound to sizzle by April. I know for a fact that I've been this person many times before, where - almost naturally - blank canvas and new beginnings excite me, but the momentum dies down by mid-year, if not, early spring at best. However, something about two thousand eighteen just feels...different. 

I looked to my old journals for reference, because I really wanted to know what my thought processes were over the past several New Years. I finally found my answer. Although I'm always pretty optimistic, the last time I truly believed within myself that it was my year was back in 2008 and honestly, I don't have much to show for it now. Damn. 

With that time frame in mind, I gave some more thought into what my intentions are for this year. The concept of 10 whole years going by was pretty surreal to me. I could remember being that young, bright-eyed girl; so care-free and full of excitement and hope for the future. Then, my mind couldn't stop thinking about what happened to her, like that version of myself was just some rag doll I traded for a fair shot at adulthood, and I really started to miss her. 

Slowly, but surely, the person I used to be crept into my quiet time as a reminder to my current "grown-up" self that that same girl is still very much alive, and all I needed to do to revive her is let go of all the fear that has been holding me back, all the pressure to fit into a certain box, and just believe again.  It was that simple.

Strangely enough, this conversation I was having with myself inspired how I want to move in 2018. Considering the last time I felt super amplified by a new year was a full decade ago, I decided on the spot that everything I touch this year will be a set up or preparation for the next 10 years, therefore if another 10 years flies by before I feel like I've reached a pinnacle again, I can look back knowing that I 1000% maximized the opportunity to make 2018 my year. I'm entering a very pivotal phase in my life where I really want to focus on purpose and making sure everything within my reach has long-term value.  Time is precious, so - in my mind - I only have one shot to get it right and for whatever reason, that kind of pressure leads me to think that this is going to be one of my best years yet. 

Fly Away...

Recently, I've developed a strange appetite for stability. 

This probably happened as a result of frustration. I spent a majority of my adulthood giving into my free spirited instincts, however, my impulse actions and irrational decisions have, thus far, proven to be unsuccessful. Moving from place to place, doing what I want, but not really accomplishing much to brag about. Honestly, I don't know if it's me talking or the voices of a society based stigma regarding people who create their own path. I used to cringe at the thought of "stability". Either way, I still want to be proud of something...something that shows me, if no one else, what I'm capable of. 

The ground I'm standing on has been shaken a little bit these past few months, so now, more than anything, I just want to be rooted.  I've been wanting to find a place where I can establish my career foundation independently and build an amazing, fulfilling life for myself...and possibly even a place where love will find me, so that the empires we've built individually can merge into one.  Not to intentionally sound bizarre by contradicting what I told myself a while ago about finding contentment where I am, but I'm starting to believe that my own personal happiness has a lot more to do with geography than I thought. 

As I'm sitting here with a one-way flight confirmation email staring at me and taunting my lack of courage invading my happy thoughts, I start to feel a little uneasy, a little confused about something that I was so sure about just months ago.  Am I prepared enough? Should I cancel? Should I redecorate my room and just get comfortable where I'm free of most of my financial responsibilities?  Should I wait it out and stay for another year? Would leaving be a huge mistake? The bigger question is: where did the hesitation come from? What happened to the resilient, confident, bigger-than-life girl [sans inhibitions] who had incredible faith that things would work out for her good?  I miss her. I need her to remind me of the dream I'm starting to forget.

One of my accountability partners is always checking up on the progress of my plans, as any good accountability partner would do.  A few months ago, she moved to her dream city, NYC, and even though things have been less than perfect, she's taking a bite out of the "big apple" and sticking it out on her own. For her, this is where she belongs.  Several bloggers and friends have also done the same thing by relocating for different reasons. I'm proud and inspired by them all, but in this moment, I will admit to being a bit envious. I was probably given ample amount of opportunities and resources to make that move happen, but I'm still here wishing and waiting while the clock keeps ticking.

Now that I've gotten all that off my chest and into the universe, I seriously think it's time to re-navigate where my energy is going.