Soft. This has been the buzzword of the year for "the girls" – myself included – and I truly do love that for us. I have no idea who the original trendsetter was who initiated this campaign and came up with this concept of living a soft life, but I sincerely hope she is somewhere living gorgeously in her soft, feminine energy and I wish I could personally extend my gratitude to her. Why? Because enough is enough!
No, really…enough is enough and I am so ready to finally tap in. Am I a part of the collective claiming I'm in my soft girl era? Yes. Am I living a soft life? No...not yet.
"What does that even mean?"
I know I touched on this before in a blog post I wrote a couple of years ago but allow me to elaborate; this time around with a more refined perspective, if you will.
Because
I grew up in a community where women weren’t necessarily given the privilege of
basking in their femininity or given the tools to understand what that
word feminine truly meant, Black women were and still are notorious for being
strong and independent, for holding down the family, for carrying the world on their
shoulders with no one around to help alleviate the burden. Even coming from a two-parent
household, I witnessed this strength in my mom; not because my father wasn’t
present or because she set a terrible example of what a woman is supposed to be,
but because it was the natural expectation of her to be this way, even with a spouse.
There wasn’t a lot of room for leisure and flow when she went to work, just
like my dad, yet she was the one who was expected to take care of the home
front, as well as all the responsibilities that came with being a wife and a
mom…and to do it all without complaints. As much as I admire my mom for who she
is and how she has shown up for me and the people around her, I understand that
there might have been a lot of things she didn’t share with me in regard to the
role she felt she had to play in our lives.
From a societal standpoint, now
more than ever, women have access to information and knowledge that may not
have been available when we were growing up, although I can’t necessarily speak
on the experience of the entire collective. However, I know so many girls who
have matured into adult women can relate to not having known, really, what it
meant to be a feminine woman – beyond the vanity and aesthetic of it all – until
now.
Society has
shifted in a way that has given so many people resources that not accessible nor available in previous generations. Sure,
there are probably girls (and boys, but shhh...no boys allowed!) who grew up seeing their mom and/or mother figures in
a totally different light than how I saw mine or who were able to tap into
their “soft girl era” early on due to the influence of a woman/women who did
operate fully in her/their feminine; women who were given the space and
opportunity to do so. Even then, there are probably so many layers to that
image that we still may not understand, complexities that many of us never even
thought to question, because we, as little girls, romanticized the world around
us without fully comprehending or seeing what the world was really like beyond
our own limited perspectives.
Just like other ideologies, such as success and happiness, I believe that living a soft life, essentially, is defined by the individual and isn’t a one-size-fits all idea; it literally varies from person to person. It shouldn't even be as controversial of a topic as it is, but that’s social media for ya.
From my perspective, soft
is being able to fully tap into my femininity and fully embrace what it means
to be a (high-value) woman.
According to Dictionary.com, “feminine energy refers to an invisible spiritual force that is related to traits usually focused on emotions, compassion, and introspection.” When we consider the balance of the universe and the natural order of things, there’s feminine and masculine, yin and yang. To my understanding and as simply as I can word it, the feminine presents itself as the flow of the universe while the masculine remains solid. Women thrive in the feminine. Men thrive in the masculine.
Coming from the textbook or scientific definition of what feminine energy is, there’s so much research that has been conducted by so many notable scholars, but ultimately the feminine is playful, free, nurturing, intuitive, things of that nature. It’s a very special moment when a woman discovers (the purest form of) herself in that and desires to remain in that space as much as possible.
…And for me, learning how to
cultivate a part of me that I didn’t always know existed has become something
like a priority, especially when it comes to setting a standard and becoming the BEST version
of myself, because I realized – not too long ago – just how powerful it is to exist
in that “flow”.
To help navigate this relatively new space (and I feel like I use the term “relatively new” because there was this extraordinary woman I came across back in college by the name of Shanel Cooper-Sykes who I admired so much, who started and introduced me and so many women around the world to a movement that emphasized the power of the feminine; I just wasn’t quite prepared to receive the message at the time), I have come up with a list of
20 affirmations to speak life into
the woman I am striving daily to become:
1. I am a woman of strong faith, a woman after God’s
own heart.
2. I am compassionate and considerate.
3. I am creative.
4. I have a positive attitude. I am full of life and joy.
5. I carry myself with dignity and respect.
6. I am kind and gentle.
7. I am supportive of the people in my life.
8. I am loyal.
9. I practice emotional control.
10. I am a peaceful and calm person who values peace.
11. I am patient
and understanding.
12. I am
nurturing, kind, and gentle.
13. I am
beautiful and poised.
14. I am
feminine.
15. I am
smart, as well as wise.
16. I am a natural born leader who knows how to be submissive and knows how to be lead.
17. I prioritize
health and fitness.
18. I am a
good listener.
19. I am
responsible. I take care of business, as well as home, and have my priorities in order.
(And no.20 is major, because anyone who knows me knows that I have always been very talkative/opinionated and have gotten myself into unnecessary trouble many times because of my mouth, so this is something I’m still learning, but haven’t yet mastered…)
20. Even though I understand the power of the tongue, I also understand the power of silence, therefore I mind my mouth, I speak carefully and lovingly to myself and others, and I know how and when to be quiet.
When I realized that I have the ability to create and to write my own narrative...oh my goddess...my mind went into complete overdrive, which is a journey in itself that began many years ago, so I digress; I'll save that (part of my) story for another day. But ultimately for me, living a life by design, hence Chymere x Design, means blossoming into the woman of my dreams, and the woman of my dreams is her, 1000%! I strongly believe that when I'm finally in that space where I'm operating fully in my feminine energy, when I am confidently walking this earth, and showing up consistently as her, I'll be a magnetic force that attracts everything my heart desires effortlessly and abundantly, and everything else will align organically.
Ready. Set. Flow.
Love <3 Always,
Chy.
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