Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Inside My DNA

Lately, all I've wanted to do is allow myself to fall head first into everything, because I'm so tired of sitting on the sidelines watching life pass me by. Tired of being patient. Tired of self-sabotaging and talking myself out of potentially awesome opportunities, whether it be because of anxiety, fear of failure, or indecisiveness. It makes me think of the 2 songs I've adapted as my anthems over the past several years, both with a very similar message: Tori Kelly's Worth the Wait and Those Who Wait by Daley, but then I heard that new Kendrick Lamar song, DNA, and my world shifted instantaneously... "I got, I got loyalty, got royalty / inside my DNA...I got hustle though, ambition flow / inside my DNA..." However, this is not an album review yet-or a track review for that matter, but it's coming on #TheSkyBoxSuite eventually, I promise). 

Opportunities come to those who are willing to work in the meantime, to ensure that waiting doesn't morph into complacency, because a lot of the time it's less about talent and more about work ethic. A couple of years ago, I wrote an blog post was basically a lecture to self about the inadequacy of being "part-time ambitious", so to speak, and sorting through emotional reactions/awareness to how complacent I was becoming, yet here I am-almost 3 years later-still feeling like I'm not doing enough or at least not nearly as much as I should be doing. It feels like my dreams are waiting for me to move closer towards them. Now that I think about it, there are probably several post hidden in the archives relative to dream chasing and moving beyond limited thinking. BOSCO worded it best:

"Your only job is to jump & the universe takes care of the rest. Meet your dreams halfway." 

With that in mind, all I've wanted to do-as of late-is jump head first into things that make me feel all the more closer to knocking out goals, achieving personal happiness, and clinging tightly to the rush of it all. Luckily, there are people in my life who empower me to do so, but all the encouragement in the world can't force me to want anything more than I want it for myself; no one can do the work for me.

Impulsion seems to be a little taboo, but if the small steps aren't leading anywhere, what else am I expected to do? As an adult, I'm expected to be more strategic, more cautious, more calculated, more deliberate, etc. but perhaps sometimes, it's really about being bold enough to say yes to all the wonderful things and resources available to propel me forward. Because I know I have it in me, it's up to me to focus on what needs to be done and actually do it. 

Gems from the Self ♡ Love Sundays Archive

Inspiration + Prequel to Self-Love Sundays

The Introduction

"The Self ♡ Love journey is just as much for me as it is for others. I don't think I'm perfect, far from it, but it's on my heart do do this and that's what this is all about."

Continue.

"...I am at a place now where I want the love I know I have inside of me to shine at its full capacity from every single dimension of who I am. I want to love myself enough to be more at peace...with myself, with others, and the world/my community in order to find true happiness and not let go of said happiness when something bad happens..."

Be the Standard

"Work on building your house up before inviting anything/anyone in. Stay balanced. Stay focused. Stay positive. Last, but not least, Be the standard, and the rest will follow. Love starts from within."

Transforming Negatives into Positives

"Life gets easier the moment you become aware of how to handle adversity with grace and bounce back from failure to failure victoriously." 

No Rush

"...Waiting is a game of opportunity; it's perfect time to grow, improve, build, but most importantly, it's a time to really be present and enjoy the process of dreams happening."

Perception

"I was now on a beach, surrounded by beauty and positive energy. It was like magic. Anyone can reshape whatever image she holds in her mind, but not without force or action."

An Act of Release

"It's all a matter of finding forgiveness in your heart, distributing it out to anything/anyone that hinders joy, growth, or inner peace, and not worrying that your compassion will somehow deplete the more you give it away." 

Sometimes Ambitious

 "I can't pray for something if my actions are working against whatever it is I'm praying for, but then expect it to manifest.  In that regard, I have to meet God half-way and not expect the universe to do all the work for me."

A Season to Thrive

"I feel like there is something-some kind of magical, magnetic power-that I'm not quite tapping into, but I'm on the brink of somehow reaching that place. I feel myself in the process of attracting beautiful things into my existence."

Believe in Abundance

"When I'm aligned with my purpose, I don't have to stress about things that don't exactly go as planned nor do I have to doubt that my prayers are being heard, because I know that everything is moving in the right order, at its natural speed, even when I don't always see it working out." 

To the Woman who Taught me How to Love Myself

"She taught me that knowledge is power. Not only did she teach me this, she embodied it. Because of her, I know that my mind is my most powerful tool."

Facing Reality

"Just as I was avoiding the negative by escaping my own reality, I was also do a good job at avoiding the positive, and closing myself off from all the good that can only happen if I would learn how to fully release/let go of all that isn't aligned with where I am at this point in my life."

Guard Your Heart

"Instead of rebuilding that wall of steel when my actions are not reciprocated or things don't exactly align the way I see fit, I've come up with a different approach; total surrender, total trust. As I relinquish that false sense of power by control, I am able to love, accept, and move on accordingly."

Focus on the Good

"Sometimes, more often than not, gratitude is the catalyst for life to manifest in really beautiful ways, a truth I've witnessed many times first hand."

Bo$$ Up + Prosper

"In a world where there's so much pressure to be a specific kind of beautiful, it's important to know how to validate yourself..live for...dress for...transform/get fit/ 'glo-up' FOR YOUR SELF." 

Falling Behind

Obviously, the greater lesson here is to not compare your journey to that of others. However, I constantly catch myself thinking the grass must be greener on the other side, watching other people experience certain things and feeling inadequate, or feeling like I'm falling behind, especially at the age where every one around me sort of expects me to have my life together by now.

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Falling Behind

In the age of social media, sometimes avoiding the game of comparison becomes a daunting task. I'm not sure if this is anyone else's problem, but I decided to be candid in the case that it is. We live in a society of sharing, where we share everything from celebrating milestones to what we eat that day. It's no longer weird to walk around in public, arm extended, talking to and/or posing for a phone or a camera. Despite the many benefits of blogging and social media to name, we are narcissistic and over-exposed. Thus, we've created the perfect formula for self-sabotage, jealousy, delusion, etc. to exist.

All of us are selective, very strategic about what we share, because most of us want to be perceived a certain way. Most of us-myself included-don't want to show certain aspects of our lives out of fear of being too vulnerable.  We don't want to be open about our failures or the mistakes we've made that caused us to fail. We don't want to highlight our fears and insecurities (even though sometimes we do, unconsciously). We don't want to show moments of defeat.

There have been moments when I'd drop "subtle" hints on Twitter about something I'm going through and a close friend would text me: 'hey, are you okay?' As much as I truly appreciate gestures of genuine concern, I'd immediately feel embarrassed, stumbling all over my words/thoughts to respond...as if I'm not supposed to have any emotion besides happiness. Why is that? Do I not fully grasp the concept that everyone has their own demons to fight and it's okay to be sad sometimes? 

And I know most of the sadness stems from having green eyes, playing envy of others' blessings or ability to be blessed. It reminds of a familiar bible story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Careful not to rescript the entire passage, it was basically a parable Jesus told to his disciples of two sons, one who did everything right according to his father's laws and the other who ran away and was frivolous of his inheritance. The son who stayed at his father's estate felt he lived an noteworthy life and because of that carried this sense of entitlement and didn't think his brother deserved to be welcomed home with elaborate gifts and celebration. When he questioned his father, the father reassured him that he was always with him and everything he owned was his. The compassion he felt for the brother didn't change or lessen the love he had for both of them, nor did it take away from what belonged to each son individually.

Basically, there is enough room in the universe for all of us to be blessed, but if we're consumed with what others have, we fail to recognize the blessings and resources available to us. Also, we never truly know what people have gone through to get to where they are, because for most people, those are the parts they refuse to showcase. 

Obviously, the greater lesson here is to not compare your journey to that of others. However, I constantly catch myself thinking the grass must be greener on the other side, watching other people experience certain things and feeling inadequate, or feeling like I'm falling behind, especially at the age where every one around me sort of expects me to have my life together by now.

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post about believing in abundance and how much I don't believe there is a such thing as "missed opportunities", yet-more often that I'd like to admitt-I fall into this conviction that I missed my mark, that I had all these chances that I ruined, somehow. It's such an awful way to think, but I'm just being honest and the first step to healing is acknowledgement. 

So where do I go from here? How many times do I have to remind myself that it's all good, that I'm here for a reason, that God hasn't forgotten about my silent prayers? This whole life thing is a learning curve and I don't think I'll ever have all the answers to these penetrating questions. A huge part of me trusting the process is acceptance and expressing myself via words-no matter how over exposed I may be-allows me to be more honest with where I am at each stage.

Nante yie.

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Focus on the good.

Lately, I haven't been proactive about practicing gratitude; I haven't put much effort into finding and acknowledging the the good stuff that is constantly showing up in my life. There are days I wake up so full of life, love, and other things, but there are days where I reach the opposite extreme and feel so lifeless and down for no reason at all. It's been plenty of days where I would really lose myself in negative thoughts, latch on to negative situations, and convince myself that because of previous mistakes I somehow deserve this. However, I'm coming to an understanding of how unfair that is to me, how deflective it is of the amount of love I claim to have for myself, and how easily all that negativity rubs off on the people who love me dearly.

For instance, I have the job I want, the exact position I prayed to be in, yet when I get home, I'm complaining for hours about something I dislike about my job. I worked extremely hard to buy a car last year (after being car-less for nearly 4 years), but complain when I have to maintain it. This is just a surface-level insight on the long list of blessings that I don't say thank you for enough and actually don't take full responsibility for, yet are the same ones that if I ever lost them, I don't know how I'd function without. Sometimes, more often than not, gratitude is the catalyst for life to manifest in really beautiful ways, a truth I've witnessed many times first hand.

Something must be done; I have to do better. It's been my mission to open my eyes, mind, and heart a little more and pay close(r) attention to all the awesome things happening right in front of me/all around me, even the small things that so many people take for granted. It's obvious that every day won't be perfect, every situation I find myself in won't be ideal, but I still have to find as many opportunities as possible to be grateful for life as it is in each moment, to make a conscious effort to face the fear, dismiss the anxiety, and focus on the good. 

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Guard Your Heart

Being guarded has always felt a bit like an oxymoron. On one hand, this mechanism taught me so many dimensions of the love I have for myself, for others, and the world around me. In that regard, it has been a sort of protective shield, which can be a good thing. On the other hand, I became immune-so numb to the pain of detachment and so doubtful of anything potentially good happening-that I built indestructible walls around my heart that would be able to withstand any storm and would never shake or crumble, making it nearly impossible to open my eyes wide enough see the world in an optimistic light.

For example, there was an era in my life where people came and went so much that it didn't bother me either way after a while. There was no real purpose in trying to build anything with anybody. During this time, I tricked myself into believing it was unrealistic to expect another human being to love someone like me. I simply gave up hope. The isolation kept me so incredibly guarded that I subconsciously blocked the positive along with the negative.

Fortunately and gradually, I was reminded of the vast world that exist right beyond my tough exterior. I was reminded that one day, I would open my heart again and allowing my guards to fall would be well worth the risk. With a renewed sense of hope, I started to hammer cracks in my outer shell to make it easier for others to maneuver pass my defense system, to make it easier for good things to make their way into my life without any doubt or self sabotage. But sometimes, even I couldn't break through all the layers, forcing me to resort back to feeling like my effort wasn't good enough and filling in the cracks I made from the inside.

Anytime I welcome someone or something new into my life, of course I want whatever/whoever it is to stay forever, but I had to learn that it doesn't always work like that. It used to hurt so badly whenever I felt like I "missed out" on a person or an opportunity, because I love so hard and get extremely attached, even if I don't always show or express it. When I seriously grow to love anything, I give it my all. Although it's still a very difficult task for me to be completely open to new possibilities, I try to believe that good things can and will happen. If I feel like a relationship that is meaningful to me is slipping, I try to locate what's wrong and fix it. Rather than viewing my passion as a downfall, I now see it as a kind of superpower I'm still learning how to master.

Instead of rebuilding that wall of steel when my actions are not reciprocated or things don't exactly align the way I see fit, I've come up with a different approach; total surrender, total trust. As I relinquish that false sense of power by control, I am able to love, accept, and move on accordingly, a far shot from where I used to be. I now know that once I've given my best and it's still not enough, I have no other choice but to walk away and give God control over the situation.  This does not imply that I no longer guard my heart; it just means that I don't have to always react to adversity in such a negative way that I create blockage for future blessings, nor do I feel the need to have all the answers, all the control, all the time.

Acceptance is knowing that everyone and every opportunity is not designed for me, which is something I've written multiple times over the course of this self-love journey. Because I am human and I can be foolish sometimes, there will be instances where I choose to not listen to my intuition; it's a process. However, being aware of the differences helps me better decipher the seasonal from the lifetime, the good from the evil, etc. and being careful not to confuse any of the two.

The God-inspired verse said it best in Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." That scripture has been my guiding light in not only relationship matters, but also in life, I guard my heart to prevent toxins and pollution from disturbing my purpose, but not to the point where I am intentionally missing the beauty around/within me. My heart is a sacred place. and although I'm no longer as hellbent as I once was about guarding it, I still think it's very important to remain protective of it.

♥ @ChymereA

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Facing Reality

The thing about clarity is, it doesn't always come wrapped in a pretty package nor is it always delivered under the circumstances of "handle with care". Sometimes reality is a hard kick in the abdomen when you're least expecting it. Despite how painful it may be to accept truth, truth in itself is impossible to run away from and that's life. 

Lately, I admit that I was trying my best to run away from the truth, chasing the delusions drawn by my own imagination. While I was busy living in dreamland, the universe was trying to open my eyes and God was busy trying to protect me from the things I couldn't possibly foresee on my own. Choosing to walk in certain situations blind sighted was doing more harm than good. Just as I was avoiding the negative by escaping my own reality, I was also do a good job at avoiding the positive, and closing myself off from all the good that can only happen if I would learn how to fully release/let go of all that isn't aligned with where I am at this point in my life.

There's a valuable lesson to be learned in putting my heart in places it doesn't fit. One major lesson is a confirmation of what I already know, as I've said this many times over the course of the SLS series: what is meant to be, will be and who God has for me is for me. Somehow, I believed the universe needed my assistance, but boy was I wrong! It re-teaches me that everything happens for a reason. More than anything, it shows me how much I've grown, because instead of mulling over what went wrong, I'm peacefully accepting the things I have absolutely no control over. From here on out, I just have to be able to trust all things organic, all things present and real, and to be completely patient with the process of life unfolding as it should. 

Facing reality doesn't change a thing. I am still unapologetic about who I am and who I allow into my life, past and present; only next time around, I'll know the difference between fantasy and reality, because I am more willing to take responsibility for my inability to discern between the two in the first place.

Pearls of Wisdom: Embrace where you are in this moment. Appreciate the people, opportunities, and resources that are available to you right now. Accept truth and don't try to hold on to anything that isn't for you, so that you are able to clear the necessary space for the blessings that are destined to follow inner peace. Things don't always work out as we planned, but certainly, there is always a higher power working on our behalf.  

♥ @ChymereA

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | To the Woman Who Taught Me How to Love Myself

I would not be the woman I am today without the force of this queen guiding me towards the woman I was born to be. The love she has for God, for her family, for others trumps the love she holds for herself-it is so wide and expansive-and I am beyond grateful that she was chosen to bring me into this world. In honor of her, I want to discuss, as briefly as I possibly can, my struggle to love myself and how the part my beautiful mommy continues to play in discovering myself.

For as long as I can remember, my mom would wake up at the crack of dawn to pray, dedicating her waking hours to meditate and honor God. When I was younger, I didn't understand the practice itself, but I know now that the faith my mom has is immaculate and I believe her prayers have saved my life many times. She is constantly striving to grow spiritually, actively welcoming God's presence into her space, which, actually, directly affects everyone who crosses her path.

She taught me that knowledge is power. Not only did she teach me this, she embodied it. Because of her, I know that my mind is my most powerful tool. She would always tell me that knowledge was the one thing I could acquire that no one could ever take away from me. Growing up, she made sure that my learning experiences extended the school curriculum through exposure to things beyond my immediate environment, no matter how much she and my dad had to sacrifice to make it so. 

There were many times where I didn't think I was smart enough to do certain things and rather than coaxing my insecurities, she'd say something along the lines of, 'It's only true if you believe it to be.' Although I knew she believed in me, her saying that implied that her belief alone would never be enough to make me achieve the goals I have. It challenged me to be disciplined and to find motivation within myself to write my own success story, not one that was birthed out of obligation.

Contrary to popular parenting, I was given the liberty to think for myself, invariably. Once I reached a certain age, she gave me room to make my own choices, allowing me to find my own path, make mistakes, and if a certain route didn't work, to get back up and try again. Even with all the accolades she has under her belt that I still don't think I could live up to in a lifetime, not once did she make me-or anyone else-feel less than.  I am very grateful for that freedom to just be myself, because as many times as I've encountered failure, I've always had the resiliency to bounce back and it taught me how to be independent in a way I would have never know otherwise.

Among a list of other life lessons, the most important thing I could have ever learned from my mom is how to love myself; how to be my own person and how to love who I am at every stage of my life. It's such a blessing to be loved by a woman like my mom. What an amazing woman! I can't imagine life without her (wouldn't dare try), but I'm more than honored that every day is a new opportunity to be her daughter.

I love you so much, mommy, my queen. 

H A P P Y  B I R T H D A Y ! ! !

♥ (always) // @ChymereA

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Believe in Abundance

Through much trial and error with investing so much of myself, my time, and my energy into things and people that weren't designed to benefit me, I've learned that when I am focused on improving self, everything else naturally falls into place.

When I'm aligned with my purpose, I don't have to stress about things that don't exactly go as planned nor do I have to doubt that my prayers are being heard, because I know that everything is moving in the right order, at its natural speed, even when I don't always see it working out. 

See, there is a huge difference between praying/waiting and begging. In my experience, I've never been placed in a position to beg for anything. When I willingly put myself in a begging position, it almost never worked out. If it did, it's becomes more of a lesson than a blessing and I had to learn how to stop being so desperate to make my plans fit where they don't necessarily belong.  

Once I was unable to see the bigger picture with my own eyes, I was almost forced to trust God and the process/struggle of my life over my own limited view. The moment I did is when the image in front of me became much more precise. That's when I was reminded that what God has in store for me is absolutely mine and no one on this earth can take it away from me. There's also no need or room for me to beg. At that point, I was able to handle my prayers with caution, because I may very well receive what I'm praying for and it may not always turn out to be what I expected it to be. It's not to say that I don't ask for certain things, but to imply that not everything we're given in this world requires a chase. 

Every person that walks your way ain't for you. Every opportunity is not yours to take advantage of. That doesn't mean people you've personally invited into your space are bad people nor does it make you stupid for opening your heart to them. Closed doors aren't an indication of some kind of hole in the universe or that you've somehow miss the chance to utilize your gifts and passions here on earth; it just means that everyone ain't for you and those "missed" opportunities just weren't yours to have in the first place.

In other words, stop thinking that just because things don't happen within your expectations that there is some kind of lack in the world around you. It's all about what you are actively see(k)ing. 

We have to learn how to take responsibility for the part we play in certain situations. All day long, people are hosting endless discussions about the lack of good men, the scarcity of employment, and what's the news or in the tabloids. Meanwhile, we pretty much convince ourselves that it just isn't enough good to go around; that love, happiness, success are only given to select few and the rest of us are left wishing on a star. I'm here to tell you that's not the case, because although tragic things do happen and bad people do exist, there is an abundance of goodness floating around universe, waiting for us to not only be ready and open enough to receive it, but to also believe in abundance itself.

Keeping that in mind, I don't worry/stress about who or what comes and goes anymore, because that's not my concern. All I have to focus on in this moment is the development of self; to grow, to learn, to cultivate the dreams in my heart, to appreciate the things/people I am already blessed with, and to allow the energy I put into myself to attract the goodness that I know is out there, designed especially for me. 

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | A Season to Thrive

Journal Entry: 12.22.14

We're a couple of days away from Christmas. I'm not exactly festive, but I'm not sad either. Maybe, I'm somewhere in between, and perhaps, not even mid-way. Whatever it is I'm feeling is calm, which is not always the case for me emotionally, so that's a good thing. Just sitting in bed daydreaming about 2015, a brand new cycle of 365 days that I'm pretty anxious to walk into. Optimistic about better days to come.

Today, I opened the happiness jar I started at the beginning of this year. A lot of memories were created in 2014 and reading these little notes to myself reminded me of how incredibly blessed I am. God has been so good and I can't even begin to thank Him/Her enough.

I want this next year to be my season to thrive and I mean that from the bottom of my soul. I cannot expect to transform into the woman I'm designed to be if I'm not making the necessary changes/adjustments first.  It's time to accelerate and get all these dreams off the ground and out of my head into reality. And considering I've only been surrounding myself with positive energy and people who genuinely want to see me win, the only thing stopping me from reaching higher levels is me. 

I am aware that I need to really push pass the self-sabotaging limitations of myself in order to really go after the things I want in life. No more talking, daydreaming, and/or sulking about what I don't have or what I could have done. All I'll ever have is the moments I'm given. God willing, I'll be blessed with opportunities to see many more new years and will find it in myself to truly live each one, always choosing happiness, health, love, creativity, and purpose over everything else. 

I feel like there is something-some kind of magical, magnetic power-that I'm not quite tapping into, but I'm on the brink of somehow reaching that place. I feel myself in the process of attracting beautiful things into my existence. I'm ready for the new year, but is the new year ready for me? Quite frankly, it has no other choice. 

Love always,

♡ // @ChymereA

Pearls of Wisdom: Life is honestly what you make it. We all go through things that make us question if happiness could ever truly be yours, but you must rise above those insecurities and moments of doubt and claim the happiness you deserve. Put in work, because no one is going to do it for you. You are the gateway to a better tomorrow; it's your choice to remain closed or open yourself up to all the wonderful things the universe has made available to you. 

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Committing to the self-love journey over the past 6 months on my blog has played a key role in my personal development and my plan is to continue to write through it. I've not only discovered so much about who I am, it's also taught me a lesson of vulnerability and allowing my scars to show. Although these have essentially been love notes to myself, I can only hope that I've inspired someone else along the way. Thank you so much for all the kind and encouraging words and for sending nothing but peace and positive energy my way as I share intimate pieces of my heart and take you on this journey with me. You will never know how much it means to have strangers who uplift you and whose spirits fill/feel you via a computer screen. To the loyal readers and the people who are simply passing through, I thank you for your on going presence and support. ♥ C.A.

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Sometimes Ambitious

We are all aiming to live an exceptional life, even though our paths to achieving such a life vary. It's in my human nature to wonder if I'm going about life the right way; I believe we all do, which is why the self-help industry in any shape or form continues to capitalize its way through pop culture. Despite all the guides and insight available on how to live life, at some point, we have to figure out for ourselves what success means. For one group, it is a rat race, all competing with one another to attain a certain status and/or level of success. For another group, it's creating opportunities for themselves and following their own bliss. For both, it's a matter of searching for life's peak and attempting to reach ones highest potential. Although I have nothing against people in the first cluster, I absolutely consider myself to be intertwined with the latter.  

The dream chasers. The ones who will stop at nothing to get there, but often times have no clue where to start or how to make the best of what they have in this moment to make things happen...and I'm a huge advocate for making things happen. However, I found myself at a crossroads again, drained from running towards my goals at full speed, and suddenly, not knowing which way to turn or if I should turn at all. I came to a place where I knew the dreams embedded in my heart weren't exactly a stretch of the imagination anymore, but they felt so far away at the same time, therefore the chase became exhausting and I almost lost sight of them. 

One thing I've learned from being in this mind space is how important it is to be in alignment with the things I want. I can't pray for something if my actions are working against whatever it is I'm praying for, but then expect it to manifest.  In that regard, I have to meet God half-way and not expect the universe to do all the work for me. Now I know, in retrospect, to keep my vision clear and plain view, because any time you want something bad enough, it's hard to not keep going. 

I've noticed-in my experiences and that of others-it doesn't pay off to be sometimes ambitions-to sometimes want to be successful or to sometimes want to live a beautiful life-because those sometimes moments always turn into prolonged periods of laziness for most people. In other words, go hard or go home. This is what separates the doers from the dreamers; if you stay in dreamland too long, you'll eventually lose hope in dreams ever coming true. I never want to get to that place.

In a previous [self] love letter, I've written about perception and the realization of ones potential, but this is about knowing what to do once the mental part is resolved. This is about staying disciplined and continuing to go after a dream fearlessly, even in moments of doubt and perspiration. The crossroads are presented to teach us a lesson, not to create an obstacle, at least not one that's impossible to conquer. 

Gem for the Day:  The law of attraction has a lot to do with movement, not just affirming words and pretty pictures. Imagine the thought of you being granted everything you work for! With that in mind, understand that manifestation involves action. Don't stop at the crossroads to question if you're doing the right thing or not. Just keep moving forward and trust that wherever you roam will lead you somewhere wonderful. 

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | An Act of Release

Despite how freeing it is to finally let go of something, it's not always a speedy process. It may take some people longer than others to get to a place in their existence where the hurt, pain, damage, etc. is just not worth holding on to anymore. We are all so infatuated with time, that we allow the time to pass while we're complaining about it. The point, though, is not to keep track of the time, but to take the time to heal in spite of it. 

For example, I spent years, literally, blaming a particular person for the damage they caused, for "ruining my ability to love". Even when I thought I moved on, when no one was watching, I would mull over the things that went wrong and what I could have done differently.  I created this ideal image of what happened within our involvement with one another to avoid facing the cold, hard reality. The most significant part was looking in the mirror and realizing the role I played in allowing one person to have that much control over my mind and emotions. No one should have that much power over you. 

Then one day, I craved closure. Not only was the previously mention situation still haunting me in a way, it was creating a blockage that wasn't fair to the person I'm currently building with.  This is not to imply that moving on always requires [direct] closure, but it was absolutely necessary for me personally. 

I remembered a message I wrote that was saved on my notes app that pretty much said (in nicer language, of course), "Good-bye and have a nice life"; waiting for me to release it to who it was intended for. Every now in then, I'd read it and prayed for the day where I was courageous enough to mean what was said, but it just sat there, because I wanted my words to hold weight. I kept thinking to myself, especially during moments when I saw all the goodness happening right in front of my face, 'Girl. Let it go.'  So on this particular day, I decided it was time.

Self-love is a continuous process and often times, quite challenging, so I continue to write through it. Hoping my mess message will make a difference in someone else's life. Writing a letter is the best way I've ever known how to express myself. I sent the note as an act of release and I was taken back by my own bravery. Seeing that he did indeed read it was such a relief, which was even more of a surprise to me (I thought I would be hurt by the lack of response, but I really wasn't affected at all, to be honest). And let me just say from this and many other experiences, letting go of something that you've been holding on to in vain has to be one of the most liberating feelings in the world. 

Pearls of Wisdom: It's all a matter of finding forgiveness in your heart, distributing it out to anything/anyone that hinders joy, growth, or inner peace, and not worrying that your compassion will somehow deplete the more you give it away. To forgive others is to heal self. Forgive others so that you are able to move forward without negativity pulling you backwards. 

♡ @ChymereA

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Perception.

As we all know from basic physical science that potential is the possibility of a thing, while kinetic is the action and force behind the realization of potential. A brick can potentially shatter a glass mirror, distort and reshape whatever image it holds completely, but not without force or action. A woman can reshape whatever image she holds in her mind, but not without force or action.  

In our lives, we can sense and differentiate between when something is stagnant and when something is moving. Sometimes we see it in literal forms, most times we can't. Even subconsciously, we are able to recognize when something shifts from one state to another. It doesn't matter if we decide to adapt accordingly or if we try with all our might to resist, the change is still happening, because change is inevitable. 

For a long period of time, I felt stuck. I reached this chateau in life and didn't know how to manipulate my environment to how I saw fit.  Now, if I made the decision back then to trust God and be still, I wouldn't wreck my brain trying to control the circumstances, but...I'll get back to that.  The point is, I was stagnant. I couldn't move, I couldn't decide on anything, and because my vision was so clouded with what was happening in my immediate view, I didn't understand my purpose of being there. My mind wasn't in the right place, so everything I did to try to change my situation was null and void, pretty much. So I wallowed and cried and imprisoned myself with indecision.

Then I gave up. In an almost sudden movement, Instead of trying to push and question my placement, I prayed for peace. I surrendered control and learned to hold myself accountable for certain things. I decided that my might alone wasn't strong enough. That's when the shift happened, or at least that's when I noticed shift was happening all along. That's when the universe began to show me things and construct doors that weren't there before. The changes that took place were so beyond anything I could've imagined for myself and that deserted chateau became something else. I was now on a beach, surrounded by beauty and positive energy. It was like magic. Anyone can reshape whatever image she holds in her mind, but not without force or action. 

God stepped in and transformed my mind, open my heart, and made me not only realize the power within me (Exodus 9:16), but also the power of perception (Ecclesiastes 2:14). By the way, I don't mean to preach here, just sharing my story, testimony, whatever you want to call it. To divert to more scientific terminology for all my logical thinkers reading, American sculptor, Horatio Greenough, phrased it best:

"Whether it be the sweeping eagle in his flight, or the open apple-blossom, the toiling work-horse, the blithe swan, the branching oak, the winding stream at its base, the drifting clouds, over all the coursing sun, form ever follows function, and this is the law. Where function does not change, form does not change...It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic, of all things physical and metaphysical, of all things human and all things superhuman, of all true manifestations of the head, of the heart, of the soul, that the life is recognizable in its expression, that form ever follows function. This is the law."

Form follows function is a commonly used phrase in most S.T.E.M. based courses in academia, so I don't know how much more proof is needed to convey just how powerful the unseen (energy, mental capacity, force, etc.) is and for God to bless us with all this power when he created us never fails to amaze me. 

Pearls of the day: I challenge you upon reading this, to relinquish your need to control; to understand that there is a higher force working on your behalf. Nothing is as bad as you perceive it to be. You are there for a reason. You are here, on earth, for a purpose. Even if you believe in the Big Bang theory, just think of how the stars are placed in the sky. You are made in the image of a divine creator and there is nothing more phenomenal than that. 

♡ // Chymere Anais

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | No Rush

Have you ever looked back in photo albums and wish you took more pictures? Sometimes, nostalgia does that to people like me. I'd smile at the memories, so clear and vivid, but still left feeling like I could have captivated more of those fleeting moments that are forgotten with age. Although it's not always as vital to be behind the camera as it is to just be, there are chances and tools [to capture more photographs] that we allow to slip away into the abyss, never to be reconciled with again.

A large percentage of our lives are spent rushing to the finish line, anxious for "the next big thing" to happen. When we're 11, we can't wait to officially be a teenager. When we're 16 we can't wait to be 18, and so forth. Instead of absorbing moments for what they really are, our minds are fixated on future (non-existent) ones. At last, we find ourselves at that golden hour we've anticipated, helplessly wondering where time went and contemplating what's next.  

Between the goal and the idea realized, there is so much substance hanging in the balance that we miss chasing the final result. Waiting is a game of opportunity; it's perfect time to grow, improve, build, but most importantly, it's a time to really be present and enjoy the process of dreams happening. I strongly believe that the individuals who learn to smile during the wait are happier and are more at peace within themselves and whatever circumstances they may face. And the chief aim of this journey of self-love is to be more at peace within /outside of myself. 

“Great things come to those who work hard with good hearts, humble spirits, and who are patient enough to trust the process.”[original quote]

Pearls of the Day: Practice patience. Don't be so anxious for the end result of things. Try to remember that everything that is supposed to happen will happen and waiting period doesn't necessarily mean idle. Trust the process, learn more, keep growing, and build up to that point.

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Transforming Negatives Into Positives

Last week, I was tormented with something that put me in a rather intense wave of depression.  It sent me on this spiral downward and I could not stop crying over things that I couldn't control. The tears clouded my vision; I could not focus nor could I see the sun, the perception of the many blessings I've been given, mildly distorted. It seemed like the end of the world. However, one morning, I woke up in time to catch the sunrise and took that as a sign from the universe, telling me in the most artistic form possible: The storm will pass and life will continue. The storm passed and life continued. 

We all face shadows in our life and circumstances. Think back on all the previous times, when you felt completely overwhelmed by the darkness, and alone. You thought you couldn't make it through, but here you are, alive, breathing, and so far estranged from those moments. It's hard to process positive thoughts, but you have to remember that darkness builds character.

Life gets easier the moment you become aware of how to handle adversity with grace and bounce back from failure to failure victoriously. Life is hard, but that doesn't mean you are under any obligation to look like "the struggle". In many cases, we've only failed because we've depended on society to tell us what failure looks like. Understand that outside people can only see what you allow them to see. You are a representation of God, your family, your culture, etc.

As cliche as it sounds, rainbows only show up after rain. You have to go through the trials to get to that metaphorical pot of gold. When life gets you down, pick yourself up and turn those sour lemons into sweet lemonade. Life is too short for pity parties. Stay focused and stand tall in knowing that God never gives you anything you can't handle. 

Pearls of the Day: Your story is beautiful because of the battle scars you try so hard to conceal.  The pain doesn't define you; it refines you. Nothing is more admirable than someone who lived in the valley, yet made it to the mountain top, some how.  You are strong enough and creative enough to make the negatives in life work for you and not against you. 

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | BE the Standard

A huge, and often misunderstood aspect of the law of attraction is that you attract who you are. It's more than  the affirmations you say aloud and the images posted to your wall for visualization; it's a total mental adjustment that has to be made. That basically means that on some level, conscious or subconscious, you attract certain things, people, situations into your life.  Our minds are such a powerful tool and if we're not careful, it can totally work against us. The more we become aware of what is going on beneath the surface, the better we are able to understand and recreate our circumstances.  

Today, I've created a short, detailed list of things I have been working on for years and still learning how to master. Hopefully, it helps someone better navigate their self love journey as well: 

1. How people approach you, along with what they feel comfortable telling you, says more about who YOU are than who they are. Do people feel comfortable gossiping with you or are they more inclined to share their dreams with you? Do your male friends respect you enough to treat you like a lady, even if you are just a friend? If you are surrounded by men who dog women and women who are fully of drama, that's not mankind working against you; it's you.  It's all about what kind of energy you exude. Love yourself enough to attract good things and good people into your life.

2. Lose that sense of entitlement. It's dangerous for anyone to feel entitled to anything.  For instance, an employee goes into his/her boss' office demanding a raise. When the boss asks why, their response is how many years they've been at the job.  The boss proceeds to remind that person of a long list of poor performance and the fact that he/she is fortunate to still have the job they have. The employee gets upset for no reason and storms out of the office. The reasons why we feel entitled are endless. Often times, we tend to treat life this way, as if the world is suppose to respond to our temper tantrums. You deserve friends when you show yourself friendly, you deserve a to be promoted when you work hard to earn it, and the list goes on. No one owes you anything.

3. Stop setting unrealistic standards. Unrealistic standards happen when someone isn't aligned with what they want, especially when it comes to relationships.  It's not fair to pray for something that you aren't receptive to at that point in your life (i.e. wanting something new, but not having room in your life for it). It's also unfair to want something that you don't have to offer. 

4. Most importantly, treat yourself well.  In keeping with the law of attraction theme, the way you feel about yourself will manifest how others feel about you. This goes hand in hand with the previous point. If you want people who honor, respect, and appreciate you, those people will only show up when you've learned to honor, respect, and appreciate yourself. They will gravitate towards your confidence and your good energy. The most amazing individuals practically show up on your doorstep when you are able to care for you without the need for outside validation. The better your relationship with yourself is, the better your relationships with others become. 

Pearls for the day: Work on building your house up before inviting anything/anyone in. Stay balanced. Stay focused. Stay positive. Last, but not least, Be the standard, and the rest will follow. Love starts from within.

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | Continue.

There are certain things that I admit to allowing to get under my skin; one of those things being injustice and disrespecting human rights.  When the news about Ferguson hit, it was like I'd never heard bad news a day in my life and it became a domino effect. When it comes to human tragedy imposed on another human, I will never be immune to things like that. However, what I've been learning about myself as all of this has transpired is learning how to not take on the negative energies that takes place outside of my control. Protecting my peace, as Lindsay so eloquently put it H E R E. 

The other day while we were watching a gospel program on TV, Mother Darling told me that I'm becoming more and more cynical. Although I defended myself, her sharing that put a mirror to my face. Then, I finally realized that my defense told me she was right and I know if she noticed it, others have too. Another similar incident made me see that mirror once more. In a debate I got into with a former classmate of mine surrounding the recent issues in Missouri, I was called out about my delivery. Let me just say, she is an extremely intelligent girl with a constant flow of beautiful thoughts, but my attitude interrupted what could have very well been a descent conversation. We later talked about it and her words sparked something that mom used to tell me all the time: it's not what you say, but how you say it. That also confirmed that my current state of cynicism is rubbing off on how I speak to people, which is not cool. 

Honestly, I have become jaded by all the darkness I open my spirit up to every time I turn on the news or anytime I let someone else's hurt define me. A number of things exist in this world that cause me to react, more than understand, and even though I know this about myself, it's almost like I indulge in the torture of it all.

Of course this was a gradual shift in my character, because things like that happen over time. There is a Lauryn Hill song that immediately comes to mind as I reflect on what transformation I sense happening at the moment. Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem, baby girl. Yeah...that one. And I'm really trying to learn how to not let how passionate I am by nature get the worst of me. 

I am at a place now where I want the love I know I have inside of me to shine at its full capacity from every single dimension of who I am. I want to love myself enough to be more at peace...with myself, with others, and the world/my community in order to find true happiness and not let go when something bad happens.  When I leave an impression on someone, I don't want it to just "be good" or acceptable; I want it to make a difference. This has inadvertently become the chief aim, so to speak, of my self ♡ love journey. 

Pearls for the day: Continue to pray. Continue to dream. Continue to love (and let it be magical). Continue to thrive in every environment God places you in. And let people wonder and be inspired by how you do it. 

♡ // Chymere Anais

Self-Love ♡ Sundays | The Introduction

“I found God in myself and I loved her...I loved her fiercely” - Ntozake Shange

Hello and welcome to the first installment of Self-Love Sundays!

Wanting to start this bi-monthly series was sparked by a few things, the first thing, or set of things rather, being a few epiphanies I've had so far this year like t h i s  o n e. The best way I can explain those: it is like watching a close friend grow into a mutual love with someone. A few years pass and you're at their wedding. You're so happy to have witnessed the glow of answered prayers, the excitement rising, the happiness that seems to flow effortlessly between two human beings, something you desire for yourself as well. Not so much jealousy as it is human nature; to want love and to be loved.  That's the same feeling I get when I see individuals who exude a certain level of confidence and have fallen completely in love with who they are. These are usually women who have become whole and confident within themselves and I really do admire that. When I did my own self-evaluation, I felt like something was missing; like I was happy, but not complete. Writing in my journal, talking to good friends, I was able to see that and knew it was up to me to do something about it. 

The second spark was from a couple of young ladies I stumbled across on YouTube, AshleyDBeauty. Inspired by Heather L. Lindsey's ministry, Ashley spoke about her journey to self-love, becoming the woman she was created to be, a woman after God's own heart, and not depending on randoms to satisfy her or make her feel complete. She candidly shared her struggles with chasing the wrong things rather than God and initially having the wrong motives. after watching her, YT suggested Angel Walston, who basically has the same message in regards to taking advantage of single season to strengthen her daily walk with Christ. Both of them made me realize that maybe that the "something missing" was my faith was staggering, that my connection with God had grown weak, and above all else, I knew that was a relationship I wanted and needed to restore.

So now, here I am, opening myself up to allow you guys to be apart of this journey with me. It has been on my heart to do so at some point this year, and I'm hoping that someone will be inspired whatever I'm lead to say. Even if you don't consider yourself to be a Christian, this is more about spirituality than it is about religion. God is just my way of reaching the depths of myself and how I'm able to recognize divinity in others. Also, it is my conviction that God loves us all, despite our beliefs and/or religious practices.

The Self ♡ Love journey is just as much for me as it is for others. I don't think I'm perfect, far from it, but it's on my heart do do this and that's what this is all about. I'm so excited about the transformation I sense is about to take place and hope that it encourages at least one person out there.

♥

Inspiration + Prequel to Self-Love Sundays

Starting August 10, 2014, I will be implementing a 'SELF ♥ LOVE SUNDAYS' weekly installment on the blog. After having a binge of AshleyDBeauty YT videos and listening to some of Heather Lindsay's podcast one night, I was on this natural high and immediately knew it was something I wanted to implement in my own life and add to the small collection of series on my blog. Of course, my journey will be slightly different from theirs as it won't be solely about relationships and romantic love, but it was definitely inspired by these 2 beautiful and amazing women of God. God confirmed the motive in my spirit  through an epiphany I had/experienced on my birthday. Without giving out too many spoilers, I'll just say: I cannot wait to inspire others as much as I can  by sharing more personal pieces and allowing God to speak to and through me.

♥ Chymere A.